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<body><h2 class="h2" id="notes"><a id="page_161"></a>Notes</h2>
<p class="center1"><strong>Chapter 1</strong></p>
<p class="hangt"><a id="ch1notes1"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch1.html#ch1notes-1">1</a>. Sigmund Freud to C. J. Jung, 1906, in <em>The Freud/Jung Letters</em> (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1994). “Psychoanalysis Is in Essence a Cure through Love.”</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch1notes2"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch1.html#ch1notes-2">2</a>. Jeff Foster, <em>Falling in Love with Where You Are</em> (New York: Non-Duality Press, 2013).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch1notes3"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch1.html#ch1notes-3">3</a>. Edwin Shneidman, a prominent researcher of suicide and its causes, proposed that suicide is an attempt to get relief from unbearable psychic pain, what he called “psychache.” Edwin Shneidman, <em>Suicide as Psychache</em> (New York: Jason Aronson, 1995).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch1notes4"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch1.html#ch1notes-4">4</a>. I am indebted to the psychoanalyst Edmund Bergler for this phrase in his book <em>The Superego</em> (New York: Grune and Stratton, 1952).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch1notes5"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch1.html#ch1notes-5">5</a>. Wilfred R. Bion, <em>Seven Servants</em> (New York: Jason Aronson, 1970).</p>
<p class="center1"><strong>Chapter 2</strong></p>
<p class="hangt"><a id="ch2notes1"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch2.html#ch2notes-1">1</a>. Byron Katie, <em>Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life</em> (New York: Three Rivers Press, 2003).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="page_162"></a><a id="ch2notes2"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch2.html#ch2notes-2">2</a>. Interestingly, although Freud is well known for having proposed that the patient “say what comes to mind,” many therapists do not realize that in 1923 Freud wrote one of his major papers in which he pointed out that patients cannot do this. In fact, they spend most of their time talking <em>away</em> from what is important. This led to a major shift in his work: focusing on defenses—the lies we tell ourselves to avoid the pain in our lives.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch2notes3"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch2.html#ch2notes-3">3</a>. Donald Meltzer, <em>Studies in Extended Metapsychology: Clinical Applications of Bion’s Ideas</em> (London: Karnac Press, 2009).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch2notes4"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch2.html#ch2notes-4">4</a>. John Bowlby, <em>Attachment and Loss,</em> 3 vols. (New York: Basic Books, 1976–1983).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch2notes5"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch2.html#ch2notes-5">5</a>. For those wondering about the use of the word “soul,” I recommend Bruno Bettelheim’s book <em>Freud and Man’s Soul</em>. Bettelheim describes how Freud used the word “soul” to refer to the depths of the human person, who we are under the words, what is unknown and yet to be known. In fact, the word “psychoanalysis” does not exist in Freud’s work. The term he used was <em>Seeleanalyse</em>, analysis of the soul.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch2notes6"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch2.html#ch2notes-6">6</a>. Personal communication from Cindy Leavitt.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch2notes7"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch2.html#ch2notes-7">7</a>. Every person interested in hope should read Ernst Bloch’s <em>The Principle of Hope</em>. For what do we do but help people see the hopeless path and find the hopeful one? In addition, see the epilogue of Erich Fromm’s <em>Anatomy of Human Destructiveness</em> for his beautiful discussion of the difference between optimism as alienated hope and genuine hope based on a sober appraisal of reality.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch2notes8"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch2.html#ch2notes-8">8</a>. Dag Hammarskjold, <em>Markings</em> (New York: Alfred Knopf, 1964).<a id="page_163"></a></p>
<p class="center1"><strong>Chapter 3</strong></p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch3notes1"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-1">1</a>. Plato’s <em>Protagoras</em> dialogue: Hippocrates: “<em>And what, Socrates, is the food of the soul?</em>” Socrates: “<em>Surely, I said, knowledge is the food of the soul.”</em></p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch3notes2"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-2">2</a>. Lucie Brock-Broido, <em>Stay, Illusion: Poems</em> (New York: Knopf, 2013).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch3notes3"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-3">3</a>. John Welwood first coined this term to describe the misuse of spiritual practices to avoid psychological problems.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch3notes4"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-4">4</a>. Simone Weil, <em>Gravity and Grace</em> (New York: Routledge, 2002).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch3notes5"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-5">5</a>. The ancient Roman playwright Terentius.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch3notes6"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-6">6</a>. Harry Stack Sullivan was the founder of the interpersonal school of psychiatry.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch3notes7"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-7">7</a>. Tertullian is considered the father of Latin Christianity in ancient Rome.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch3notes8"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-8">8</a>. Leonard Shengold, <em>Soul Murder: The Effects of Childhood Abuse and Deprivation</em> (New York: Ballantine Books, 1991). The psychoanalyst Leonard Shengold explores the ways children’s souls are murdered through physical and emotional abuse.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch3notes9"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-9">9</a>. Melanie Klein, <em>Envy and Gratitude and Other Works 1946–1963</em> (New York: Delacorte Press, 1973).</p>
<p class="hang1"><a id="ch3notes10"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-10">10</a>. Sigmund Freud, “Remembering, Repeating and Working Through (Further Recommendations in the Technique of Psychoanalysis II)” (1914), in <em>The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud</em> (London: Vintage Books, 2001), 12:145–156.</p>
<p class="hang1"><a id="page_164"></a><a id="ch3notes11"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-11">11</a>. John Fiscalini, <em>Coparticipant Psychoanalysis: Toward a New Theory of Clinical Inquiry</em> (New York: Columbia University, 2012).</p>
<p class="hang1"><a id="ch3notes12"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-12">12</a>. Thomas Aquinas, <em>Summa Theologica</em> (New York: Christian Classics, 1981).</p>
<p class="hang1"><a id="ch3notes13"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-13">13</a>. Donald Winnicott, <em>Maturational Processes and the Facilitating Environment: Studies in the Theory of Emotional Development</em> (London: Karnac Books, 1966).</p>
<p class="hang1"><a id="ch3notes14"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-14">14</a>. Herbert Rosenfeld, <em>Impasse and Interpretation: Therapeutic and Anti-therapeutic Factors in the Treatment of Psychotic, Borderline, and Neurotic Patients</em> (New York: Routledge, 1987). Rosenfeld discusses the “lavatoric transference,” the relationship by which the patient devalues the therapist to avoid envying what the therapist can offer to the patient and what the patient cannot offer herself. French psychoanalysts such as André Green have described this same pattern of devaluation as “fecalization.”</p>
<p class="hang1"><a id="ch3notes15"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-15">15</a>. Theodore L. Dorpat, <em>Gaslighting, the Double Whammy, Interrogation, and Other Methods of Covert Control in Psychotherapy and An</em>a<em>lysis</em> (New York: Jason Aronson, 1966).</p>
<p class="hang1"><a id="ch3notes16"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-16">16</a>. Bruno Bettelheim, <em>Love Is Not Enough</em> (New York: Free Press, 1950).</p>
<p class="hang1"><a id="ch3notes17"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch3.html#ch3notes-17">17</a>. Aaron Beck, <em>Love Is Never Enough</em> (New York: Harper Perennial, 1989).</p>
<p class="center1"><strong>Chapter 4</strong></p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch4notes1"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch4.html#ch4notes-1">1</a>. The tale of the salt doll is known in many nondual traditions such as Buddhism and Hinduism and was used by Ramana Maharshi, among other notable teachers.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="page_165"></a><a id="ch4notes2"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch4.html#ch4notes-2">2</a>. From the poem, “Im Abendrot,” by Joseph Freiherr von Eichendorff, used in Richard Strauss’s <em>Four Last Songs</em>.</p>
<p class="center1"><strong>Chapter 5</strong></p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch5notes1"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch5.html#ch5notes-1">1</a>. Simone Weil, <em>Gravity and Grace</em>.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch5notes2"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch5.html#ch5notes-2">2</a>. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, <em>Scientific Studies</em> (New York: Suhrkamp, 1988).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch5notes3"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch5.html#ch5notes-3">3</a>. Goethe. Quoted in Iain MacGilchrist, <em>The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World</em> (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2012), 36.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch5notes4"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch5.html#ch5notes-4">4</a>. Wilfred Bion was known as a mystical psychoanalyst in the Kleinian tradition who proposed that we not only have drives of aggression and love but also an instinct to know the truth: epistemophilia.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch5notes5"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch5.html#ch5notes-5">5</a>. Erich Fromm, <em>Escape from Freedom</em> (New York: Holt, 1941).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch5notes6"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch5.html#ch5notes-6">6</a>. Martin Heidegger, <em>Zollikon Seminars: Protocols—Conversations—Lette</em>rs (Evanston, IL: Northwestern University Press, 2001).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch5notes7"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch5.html#ch5notes-7">7</a>. Karl Rahner was a noted twentieth-century theologian. This quote is drawn from his book <em>Spirit in the World</em> (London: Bloomsbury Press, 1994). For Rahner, all knowledge about a person is knowledge about the being of the world. And whatever conceptual knowledge of the world we have has a horizon, beyond which lies the nonconceptual preknowledge of our being, the ground of all knowing.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch5notes8"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch5.html#ch5notes-8">8</a>. John Keats, <em>The Complete Poetical Works and Letters of John Keats</em>, Cambridge Edition (New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1899).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch5notes9"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch5.html#ch5notes-9">9</a>. John Fiscalini, <em>Co-participant Psychoanalysis.</em></p>
<p class="hang1"><a id="page_166"></a><a id="ch5notes10"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch5.html#ch5notes-10">10</a>. Simone Weil, <em>Gravity and Grace</em>.</p>
<p class="hang1"><a id="ch5notes11"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch5.html#ch5notes-11">11</a>. Jose Saramago, from his novel <em>Blindness</em> (New York: Harvest Books, 1999).</p>
<p class="hang1"><a id="ch5notes12"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch5.html#ch5notes-12">12</a>. Jean Klein, <em>Transmission of the Flame</em> (London: Third Millennium Books, 1994).</p>
<p class="center1"><strong>Chapter 6</strong></p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch6notes1"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch6.html#ch6notes-1">1</a>. Dietrich von Hildebrand, <em>The Nature of Love</em> (New York: St. Augustine’s Press, 2009). Many of the ideas for this piece were drawn from von Hildebrand.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch6notes2"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch6.html#ch6notes-2">2</a>. Robert Wolfe, <em>Living Nonduality: Enlightenment Teachings of Self-Realization</em> (Ojai, CA: Karina Library, 2014), 235.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch6notes3"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch6.html#ch6notes-3">3</a>. Based on a Hindu parable that can be found on many sites. For example: <a class="nounder" href="http://www.awakin.org/read/view.php?tid=958">www.awakin.org/read/view.php?tid=958</a>.</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch6notes4"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch6.html#ch6notes-4">4</a>. Emily Dickinson, <em>The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson</em> (New York: Back Bay Books, 1976).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch6notes5"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch6.html#ch6notes-5">5</a>. Many of the ideas I developed in this chapter I borrowed from Peter Wilberg, <em>The Therapist as Listener: Martin Heidegger and the Missing Dimension of Counseling and Psychotherapy Training</em> (Eastbourne, UK: New Gnosis, 2004).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch6notes6"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch6.html#ch6notes-6">6</a>. Martin Heidegger, <em>Being and Time</em> (New York: Harper, 2008).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch6notes7"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch6.html#ch6notes-7">7</a>. Nicolas Berdyaev, <em>Freedom and Slavery</em> (New York: Scribner, 1944).</p>
<p class="hang"><a id="ch6notes8"></a><a class="nounder" href="ch6.html#ch6notes-8">8</a>. Heraclitus, a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher.</p>
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