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wisethings.txt
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wisethings.txt
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Q: What do they call the alphabet in Arkansas?
A: The impossible dream.
Green light in A.M. for new projects. Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.
Q: Why does Washington have the most lawyers per capita and
New Jersey the most toxic waste dumps?
A: God gave New Jersey first choice.
So this is it. We're going to die.
You are taking yourself far too seriously.
_____________________________________
/ Q: What is the difference between a \
\ duck? A: One leg is both the same. /
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\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
_______________________________________
/ The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, \
| Are of imagination all compact... |
| |
| -- Wm. Shakespeare, "A Midsummer |
\ Night's Dream" /
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\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
_______________________________________
< You will be run over by a beer truck. >
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\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
_________________________________________
/ In the plot, people came to the land; \
| the land loved them; they worked and |
| struggled and had lots of children. |
| There was a Frenchman who talked funny |
| and a greenhorn from England who was a |
| fancy-pants but when it came to the |
| crunch he was all courage. Those novels |
| would make you retch. |
| |
| -- Canadian novelist Robertson Davies, |
| on the generic Canadian |
| |
\ novel. /
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\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
_______________________________________
/ I dote on his very absence. \
| |
| -- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant |
\ of Venice" /
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\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
________________________________________
/ Q: Why should you always serve a \
| Southern Carolina football man |
| |
| soup in a plate? A: 'Cause if you give |
\ him a bowl, he'll throw it away. /
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\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
____________________________
< Just to have it is enough. >
----------------------------
\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
_________________________________________
/ There is an old time toast which is \
| golden for its beauty. "When you ascend |
| the hill of prosperity may you not meet |
| a friend." |
| |
\ -- Mark Twain /
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\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
_______________________________________
/ There will be big changes for you but \
\ you will be happy. /
---------------------------------------
\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
_______________________________________
/ Don't you wish you had more energy... \
\ or less ambition? /
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\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
_________________________________
< You too can wear a nose mitten. >
---------------------------------
\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||