by Eric Barker
- Schools reward students who consistently do what they're told. Grades correlate loosely with intelligence, but strongly with self-discipline and compliance.
- Schools reward being a generalist. Unlike the real world, there is little recognition of student passion or expertise.
- Following the rules doesn't create success; it just eliminates extremes, both good and bad.
- There are two types of leaders: "Filtered" ones who rise up through formal channels, and "unfiltered" ones who come in through the window.
- A minority of unfiltered candidates are transformative, turning away organizations from misguided beliefs and foolish inconsistencies.
- Unfiltered leaders have "intensifiers," or qualities that are often negative in the mean, but become positives in a specific context.
- The "differential susceptibility hypothesis" says that the same genes that lead to bad stuff can actually lead to good stuff in a different situation.
- A "hopeful monster" is an individual that deviates radically from the norm because of a mutation that confers a potentially adaptive advantage.
- Too often we label things "good" or "bad," when the right designation might merely be "different."
- To be great we must be different. And that doesn't come from trying to follow society's vision of what's best, because society doesn't always know what it needs. More often being the best means being the best version of you.
- Anything better aligned to fit a unique scenario is going to be problematic on average. And qualities that are "generally good" can be bad at the extremes.
- We try to filter out the worst to increase the average, but by doing this we also decrease variance.
- Often intensifiers masquerade as positives because we give successful people the benefit of the doubt, or label them as "eccentric."
- To apply "Leadership Filtration Theory," first, know thyself. Know whether you are filtered or unfiltered, and know your strengths, or what you are good at that produces desired results.
- Second, pick the right pond. Choose companies and situations so that you can leverage your type, your signature strengths, and your context to create value.
- In a study, those who make a good impression got better performance reviews than those who worked harder but didn't manage impressions well.
- Flattery is so powerful that it works even when the boss knows it's insincere.
- Our evaluations of other people come down to warmth and competence, and we assume the two are inversely related.
- Feeling powerless in an executive function actually makes you feel dumber.
- Jerks succeed because they're assertive about what they want, and they're not afraid to let others know about their achievements.
- There are three categories: "right," "wrong," and "everyone does it." Once we see others getting away with something, we assume it's okay.
- Teams with just one bad apple experience performance deficits by 30 to 40 percent.
- To truly scale an effort and succeed means going beyond selfishness to create trust and achieve cooperation.
- On the spectrum of success, "Matchers" and "Takers" end up in the middle, while Givers are found at the very top and the very bottom.
- While Givers receive help from other Givers and protection from Matchers, Takers end up being disliked by everyone, including other Takers.
- Even Matchers, who benefit from trust and reciprocity, are limited because they often wait for someone else to initiate a good act.
- Matchers want to see good rewarded and evil punished, and so they go out of their way to punish Takers and protect Givers from harm.
- A Tit-for-tat approach with forgiveness succeeds because it is nice, it is forgiving, it was easy for other players to understand, and it would retaliate when necessary.
- An early edge achieved with betrayal isn't worth much since it poisons what could have been a fruitful and long-term relationship.
- Givers lose in the short-term, but over the long term they meet other Givers and receive protection from Matchers, and consequently thrive.
- Not only is reciprocity one of the key factors of influence and winning favor, but it is essential that you go first.
- Studies show that your boss has a much larger effect on your happiness and success than the company at large.
- In the workplace, warning others about Takers will make you feel better and help police bad behavior.
- Your hard work doesn't pay off if your boss doesn't know whom to reward for it. So make sure it gets noticed.
- Build more steps into the contract, and entice others with ways to help them down the line. By framing the relationship as long-term, the better the other party will treat you.