hanzitable.csv

啦;!!         ;This expresses the shock you feel upon witnessing Ghenghis putting one of those fingers into his mouth and biting down happily.;;
啊;Aah!         ;Lady's mouths hang open when they see Apollo's physique, and the only word that escapes is "aah!";;
遵;Abide by         ;Abiding by the traffic laws is a form of veneration of the spirit of the road you are travelling on. Noone can escape from the laws - no matter how venerated they are.;;
能;Ability         ;The amputee with a dis-ability has no hands but only stumps of flesh beneath his elbows. To give him the ability to eat he has two spoons implanted in his arm stumps; one on each side.;
突;Abruptly         ;The chihuahua's yapping stopped abruptly when I tired of its noise and pushed it through the dog flap (a hole in the door) and into the cold outside;;
科;Academic Discipline         ;The two academic disciplines depicted here are biology (some wild rice) and astronomy (the Big Dipper) - and what other ones do you need; really?;
受;Accept         ;A birdhouse is a whorehouse that will accept any crotch - as long as you have money!;;
绩;Accomplishments         ;Every new responsibility is a potential source of new accomplishments to add to the long thread that you use to store all your certificates; awards and so on.;
积;Accumulate         ;You are accumulating stores in anticipation of the nuclear apocalypse - but you're saving up wild rice only; as it has proven to be the most radiation resistant of all foodstuffs;
诉;Accuse         ;The eldest warrior's words accuse you of not cleaning your tomahawk of blood properly after every single raid - but the reprimand in his words is entirely unfair!;;
惯;Accustomed to         ;Flagellants have a state of mind where they have become accustomed to piercing themselves with all manner of horrible implements;;
功;Achievement         ;The great achievements of the human race are works of construction (with I-beams) using muscle power - just think of the pyramids!;;
加;Add         ;Your mouthy neighbour that always had another thing to say is here intent on adding something about the size of his muscles to all of your conversations;;
巧;Adroit         ;When working in the bear trap (snare) trade; you must be particularly adroit to avoid catching your limbs in its painful embrace;
反;Against         ;This is a particularly painful punishment where someones crotch is dragged against a gravel path;;
虽;Although         ;Although they aren't very tasty this person feels compelled to stuff their mouth full of insects;;
祖;Ancestor         ;Japanese household often have a small shelf where they keep an altar honouring the spirits of their ancestors.;;
而;And         ;A comb with just enough spaces to fit in the letters A N D;;
角;Angle         ;To measure an angle; the best device to utilize is a carpenters square; which is nothing more than two metallic walking sticks bound together.
恼;Annoyed         ;This is Fagan's state of mind when his child-thieves fail to bring back enough loot. You don't want to be around him when he's like this!;;
另;Another         ;Another satisfied customer of my system for improving the strength of your mouth muscles by a programme of talking to the wall and eating raw steak every day;;
蚁;Ant         ;The ant is a insect of righteousness: they put the needs of the group before their own!;;
急;Anxious         ;The cleaning lady is always bound up with her broom; and constantly anxious about being fired - so her heart pounds like a drum as she works;
阿;Apollo         ;Apollo is the only god who can reach the pinnacle of Mount Olympus; due to it's height and rareified air;
服;Apparel         ;The latest trend in American apparel: clothing so outrageous that it is no more than a stamp covering your crotch;;
样;Appearance         ;The fire brigade are used to fetching cats down from trees; so the sudden appearance of a sheep halfway up one came as something of a suprise;
号;Appellation         ;An appellation sticks because the mouth snares it so easily;;
任;Appoint         ;By appointment to the Queen: Chuck Norris's own baggage handlers! Chuck is so strong that this is a doddle for him - instead of hiring porters; he just roundhouse kicks the luggage to it's destination;
概;Approximate         ;Since the waitress has confessed to stealing the silverware, we're going to try and get it back. Unfortunately, the idiot waitress can only remember the approximate location - "somewhere near that tree". Not much help!;;
到;Arrive         ;You arrive at the city walls for your duel to the death a little early. Until your partner arrives; you practice with your saber.;
随;As you wish         ;"As you wish, my Lord". What does your Lord wish? Well, to reach the pinacle of sexual prowess, possess everything and make inroads on other lord's territory;;
登;Ascend         ;When an American Indian warrior dies; his body is placed on a table inside a teepee; and a ritualistic ceremony is held to encourage his spirit to ascend to that big buffalo hunting ground in the sky.
亚;Asia         ;The people of Asia have only one profession: rice farmer. Primitive: Mao Zedong.;;
问;Ask         ;This gate has a huge mouth on it; with sharp teeth. Before you can pass through it; it will ask you a riddle - if you answer incorrectly
志;Aspiration         ;It the aspiration of every young boy to be a soldier and every young girl to be a heart surgeon;;
担;Assume         ;One of Hercules' labours was to hold the world in his fingers for Atlas; assuming the considerable burden until daybreak;
在;At         ;You know precisely where the place you buried (in the soil) your genie in a bottle is at.;;
附;Attach         ;When climbing up the pinnacle of a mountain; you had better attach yourself to the rock; or you could pay with your life!
态;Attitude         ;If someone is overly attentive to the needs of their heart over those of their head the result is usually a bad attitude that annoys others;;
瑞;Auspicious         ;Our prospector has unearthed a ball of gold ore - a most auspicious sign!;;
秋;Autumn         ;In autumn the leaves on every plant - including wild rice - turn a fiery red colour;;
免;Avoid         ;In the eternal war between rabbits and hares; this rabbit has avoided capture as a spy for the other side by cutting off its fluffy tail; so as to pass for a hare.
坏;Bad         ;Bad dog! Don't soil the house - didn't you see the "NO" symbol? Go and do your business outside. Alternatively, there is no earthly way that you'll get me to do something that bad!;;
袋;Bag         ;In times of need; when you are down on your luck; a sacking bag can make a servicable substitute for clothing
篮;Basket         ;This is a lovely flower arrangements given by the Chinese ambassador to the US one. However; nestled within the bamboo basket is a hidden camera and microphone!;
浴;Bathe         ;You are watching a woman bathe - see the water drops running down her cleavage (valley of the chest);;
阵;Battle formation         ;The military command unit is watching the formations of battle form up from their command car on top of the Acropolis;;
湾;Bay         ;A bay is a long curved area of shoreline near the water; and it's into a bay (the one on Lake Lucerne) that William Tell escaped capture by Gessler during a storm.;
恋;Be enamored of         ;You are enamored of someone if they are the apple of your heart!;;
美;Beautiful         ;The Welsh clearly aren't the only ones that think beauty is a large sheep...;;
招;Beckon         ;When you beckon to someone with your finger you are summoning them to you;;
床;Bed         ;If you want to make your bed in the wilderness; the only safe places are in the branches of a tree or in a cave. To be on the safe side; you could drag a tree into a cave and sleep there
预;Beforehand         ;I wasn't always a feared warlord; you know. Beforehand; I was a mere general who took the job by driving a ceremonial spear into the head of the previous incumbent (before his hand could reach up to protect his face).
起;Begin         ;This snake is tired of slithering along the ground after insects and has begun walking lessons;;
后;Behind         ;Look behind you! A horrific creature is draggaing itself towards you along the ceiling - all mouth and teeth but with no legs at all;;
属;Belong to         ;These insects belong to a nationalist insect terrorist group: their flag is flying above; and below it an insect member in an explosives belt and with a scarred forehead is reciting a jihadist message for the camera.;
遗;Bequeath         ;Bequeathing your possessions to your children can be an expensive road to go down; due to inheritance tax. Much better to spend it all before you die!;
馆;Bldg.         ;This building is like all other government buildings: they house bueraucrats that sit around eating expensively on the taxpayer's dollar;;
眨;Blink         ;You blink when your eyeballs have become weary of being open for too long;;
血;Blood         ;A dish full of drops of blood;;
蓝;Blue         ;The Chinese just don't give up - the same flower basket also has a hidden camera hidden in the blue orchids. One in the bamboo basket and and one in the blue flowers - shameless!;;
青;Blue or green         ;Grown-up telescope fixed on the moon (made out of green cheese). Once in a blue moon; you see the cheesemaker.;
舟;Boat         ;A pictograph of a two story boat seen from the front. The glass canopy is the body of the boat. The drop on top is the chimney. The horizontal line is the ceiling/floor between the the st/nd floor. Finally; the two drops in the middle are the lights on the decks.;
体;Body         ;Chuck Norris has exactly the kind of body that makes you want to get our your notebook and start sketching - it's so attractive!;;
伪;Bogus         ;What is bogus here is the Chuck Norris persona - the guy is quite normal in reality - it is all an act!;;
边;Border         ;The road extends right through the border with no checkpoint in sight; but you are help back from crossing it by your fear of the powers that be;
借;Borrow         ;In times past; you borrowed Chuck Norris' karate belt; but you have forgotten to give it back...
胸;Bosom         ;The part of your mothers body that you want to be bound up to when the world seems far too cruel!;;
底;Bottom         ;This bottomless cave is perfect for disposing of all your unwanted calling cards.;;
俯;Bow one’s head         ;If you want to get your way with the people at the government office; you have to be subservient at every opportunity - bowing one's head is also a good idea;
箱;Box         ;This box is made of bamboo strips skillfully woven through one another to produce a sturdy container;;
拳;Boxing         ;You must only have a quarter of your brain if you feel tempted to try your hand at a boxing match. Alternatively; in the first quarter of the boxing match you break your hand through a particularly nasty blow; ending your career!
脑;Brain         ;The brain is the only part of Fagan's flesh this is worth anything - every other part of his flesh is cruel; despicable and nasty - from his top hat down to the pit of his stomach.;
枝;Branch         ;A tree branch is just an offshoot of a tree;;
挥;Brandish         ;Who is brandishing this weapon? There is one held in the fingers of every member of your army!;;
敢;Brave         ;A brave but naughty schoolboy put thumbtacks on the seat of his teacher but got caught in the act - now that harsh taskmaster has him firmly by the ear as he gets dragged to the principals office;;
浪;Breakers         ;The breakers and the spray they kick up form a kind of silvery halo of drops around the water of the ocean;;
息;Breath         ;You draw a breath in by your nostrils and it is taken into your heart via your lungs;;
提;Bring up         ;When you bring up an idea in a group, you stick your finger in the air and say "Here be a thought...";;
泡;Bubbles         ;Bubbles are just water wrapping up a pocket of air;;
佛;Buddha         ;The Buddha was concerned with making people less worried about how many dollar signs they had in their bank balance;;
栋;Building         ;Feng shui dictates that you should build buildings out of wood (that most natural of materials) and facing east - and if they fast east towards a tree; so much the better.;
弹;Bullet         ;These bow-let points are on your shopping list. Alternatively; you're going weapon shopping on the bullet train and the first thing on your list is bullets for your bow - i.e. arrows.;
束;Bundle up         ;This big mouth is not content to wait for apricots to fall; so he has climbed up the tree and is bundling them up into his mouth; juice running down his chin!
局;Bureau         ;The Federal Bureau of Investigation's job is to monitor your sentences and raise red flags if you start talking like a terrorist;;
官;Bureaucrat         ;No one likes classical music anymore. Our Maestro is here at home without his baton; sighing sadly before he heads off for another day as his new job as a bureaucrat.;
忙;Busy         ;When are you busy you are in a state of mind where all thoughts have perished;;
买;Buy         ;This dubious Frenchman; with cigarette hanging from his lip and beret jauntily arranged on his head; is attempting to get you to buy his even more dubious bust of Charles de Gaulle
唤;Call out         ;The Victorian lady is hopelessly trapped: with her corset she can't climb out of the hole she has dug for herself; so she opens her mouth and calls out for a swarthy man to help her.;
典;Canon         ;Religious canon is a tool to bend people's minds in favour of the Church.;;
谨;Careful         ;Since I was invited to dinner; I was very careful to avoid saying any bad words about the spinach - even though it was truly horrible over-boiled stuff.;
继;Carry on         ;The latest Carry On film is Carry On Angler; where in a notable scene the fisherman hilariously gets tangled up in the thread of his rice-baited fishhook; so he falls into the water!
刻;Carve         ;This famous ninja (I always use ninjas with sabres; distinct from samurai) used to carve his name onto acorns; and throw the acorns to distract his enemies. The legend goes that by the time his victims would pick up the acorn and read the carved text
央;Center         ;You've got the St Bernard's dog dead center in your sights, and you're ready to pull the trigger in revenge for his earlier stint as a highwayman (in "reach").;;
礼;Ceremony         ;In this primitive religious ceremony; a boy who is coming of age lies on the altar and has his ears pierced by a fishook. Those who don't die of infection become adults!;
据;Certificate         ;A certificate of residence that points firmly (with an official finger) at the place where you legally reside;;
追;Chase         ;The maestro; coattails wildly flapping; is pursued down the road by his fans
怀;Cherish         ;When you cherish someone, your state of mind is such that you couldn't stand having them taken away from you by a big "NO" sign dropping down in front of them;;
鸡;Chicken         ;A chicken in your right hand is worth two birds in the wild.;;
酋;Chieftain         ;Moose whisky! Made from pressed moose antlers - so rare; expensive and strong that only the chieftain is allowed to drink it.;
筷;Chopsticks         ;Chopsticks (made of bamboo) are perfect for fast food!;;
班;Class         ;Here we see the two principal classes of economics at war with each other - each led by a different king (Friedman or Keynes) they charge at each other with sabers drawn!;;
执;Clench         ;You clench your buttocks at the prospect of the doctor taking a suppository from his bottle of pills and shoving it up your behind with his fingers;;
丑;Clown         ;I've always found clowns creepy; and Giggles the clown is particularly creepy. Part of the reason is that he's not too used to being funny. This is actually his second job: his main job is to pick keys with a set of lockpicks (a needle) in the criminal underworld; but he needs the clown gig to make ends meet. So he stumbles around stoically
冷;Cold         ;To keep your drink cold; just order some more ice;
领;Collar         ;If you don't follow your orders; it will be off with your head.. and that will damage the collar of your newly-bought clothes; so you better avoid it!
色;Color         ;Mosaics are made up of many small coloured tiles which when bound up make one big riotous colour picture.;;
抗;Combat         ;If you watch a master of kung fu in combat; his fingers will appear to be a whirlwind as they dance all over the opponent. As he steps back; the opponent falls to the ground in ten thousand tiny chunks!
并;Combine         ;By combining the elegant ivory (animal horn) pieces of this jigsaw with your two hands you might be able to solve it;;
始;Commence         ;Many men; before they commence a relationship; put the women on a sort of pedestal
委;Committee         ;The women wheat farmers decide to create a committee that will manage their shared lands;;
货;Commodities         ;Commodities trades have a wonderful way of transforming your shells into... fewer shells (at least if you invest in GSCI :-);;
碌;Commonplace         ;Stones are commonplace - stone snowmen; less so!;
通;Communicate         ;In feudal Europe; lords communicated using two components: sealing wax (for the seas on their letters) and (Roman) roads; which the messengers could scamper down.
赛;Competition         ;The ultimate hamster-cage match! Oysters vs. hamsters! Who will win? Answer: the hamster - they simply ate the oysters while the oysters flapped helplessly.;;
编;Compile         ;While you're waiting for a big bit of code to compile in a background thread you can read a book from cover to cover. Your excuse to your employer: it's compiling!;;
掩;Conceal         ;This is the concealed weapon held in the fingers of a spy hang-gliding into enemy territory. If he is discovered on his descent he can take out the opponent with a simple squeeze of his finger on the trigger!;;
授;Confer         ;When the Ring was bestowed into Frodo's care; he accepted it into his fingers with a heavy heart; knowing that it could never be allowed to rest on his finger
儒;Confucian         ;Chuck Norris needs Confucian kung fu masters to fight against; otherwise he will succumb to bordem;
贺;Congratulate         ;Your kindly uncle congratulates you on your exam performance with a pat on the back and by adding some shells to your bank account;;
思;Consider         ;When you consider something carefully; you take into account the opinions of your brains as well as your heart;
争;Contend         ;This drunkard has to contend with crossing a booby trapped lawn back to his house. First; he keeps stepping on rakes in the grass (which fly up and hit him in the face) and secondly he has to avoid getting bound up in the tough hedges all around;
续;Continue         ;The Frenchmen selling you the bust just won't stop! He continues his pitch in the same thread by blathering about his latest wonderful project;;
便;Convenient         ;Convenience stores compete with each other to be even more convenient than each other and hence attract more people to their shops;;
协;Cooperate         ;Tattooing requires great cooperation from the subject; but even with him lying perfectly still sweat still beads on the brow of the artist as he prepares to stick his needle into the muscle;
颜;Countenance         ;The divine countenance is certainly the most erudite head in the whole of creation!;;
国;Country         ;The rulers of this country have pent in all the valuable jade treasures of the world;;
乡;Countryside         ;In the countryside; cocoons are left undisturbed for longer and so have the opportunity to grow long threads on their ends.;
县;County         ;The town council is responsible for planning applications; and insist on running their beady eyes over even the most trivial requests; such as when you want to build a wall.
勇;Courageous         ;Sometimes; delivering the letters sealed with sealing wax safely took great courage. After all; messengers were prime targets for bandits and the spys of other lords. The result is that messengers not only had to be courageous but also take some muscle along with them.
庭;Court of law         ;The court of law hands down a sentence: "for the porter than ran away from their master,  hours of stretching on the rack in the torture cave";;
皮;Covering         ;The covering of this offshoot is the bark hanging down to the side;;
犯;Criminal         ;Criminals can often by caught by the use of packs of wild dogs and fingerprint information. Alternatively; this is the pack of wild dogs in prison from earlier - now they have escaped; and were commiting more crimes
赤;Crimson         ;Remember the system for killing cows earlier? Crimson is the colour of the soil after you have plunged your saber into the cows; and its helpless animal legs have stopped wiggling in agony.;
批;Criticize         ;When you criticize someone publically; you point your finger at them and loudly compare them to some ideal standard;
凶;Cruel         ;A cruel means of execution: throw sheaves of wheat into a prison pit containing a starving prisoner so they drown in the food they have been pitiously asking for for weeks!;;
杯;Cup         ;After one too many cups of beer you drive your Ferrari off the road, through a "NO" sign and into a tree on the way back home;;
弯;Curved         ;This shows the curved path of William Tell's crossbow bolt as it flew from his bow into the apple on his sons head.;;
割;Cut off         ;If you cut off parts of someone with your saber you are certainly doing them harm!;;
危;Danger         ;You've fallen off the side of a cliff; and are now bound to it by just your fingerprints. This is a very dangerous situation indeed!;
死;Death         ;The Grim Reaper has showed up to claim your soul - but instead of a scythe he holds a funny spoon made out of bones for scooping your conciousness right out of your body!;;
决;Decide         ;"You Decide" - at least, since the last king had his head cut off by a guilllotine! Of course, given how effective democracy has been it would have been wise in restrospect to keep the head on ice to make decisions for us when the politicans are caught up in squabbling. Alternatively, this pictures someone who can't decide between two model of guillotine: extra tall or extra sharp? While he waits his feet are getting frozen to the ground in the cold air.;;
深;Deep         ;Spring cleaning one day; you open the deepest drawer of your desk and find not only your beloved paper punch; but also a tiny tree growing out of the wood
鹿;Deer         ;Cave paintings that cavemen used to compare themselves to deer - the double-key of time locks up the mysteries of why they did this.;;
卫;Defend         ;In order to defend your officially registered chop (i.e. seal) from thieves; you carefully hide it underneath the floor of your home;
缺;Deficient         ;Correct a tin deficiency by eating a tin can; and an iron deficiency by cutting your head off using a rusty guillotine.;
度;Degrees         ;You had better choose a place to sit down in the caverns that is a bit closer to the cooking fire; or else when you sit down the temperature of your crotch will fall by fifty degrees!;
送;Deliver         ;To deliver the worshippers of the Golden Calf from evil; Moses sent the calf packing by having it delivered to a smelter down the road.;
魔;Demon         ;You've heard of the demon of drink; this is the demon of drugs: the ghost that inhabits hemp and feeds on the brainpower of cannabis smokers.;
部;Department         ;The Department For Truth are responsible for muzzling the press within the confines of the city walls.;;
依;Depend on         ;Chuck Norris doesn't depend on his clothes for his power - it's all him; baby!;
眷;Dependents         ;If a husband has three dependents (as is typical) then his eyeball has to watch as only one quarter of his wealth is available for him to spend on expensive toys;;
降;Descend         ;The monocle-wearing Sir Patrick Moore descends from the Acropolis (where he has been making some astronomical observations); his walking legs going nineteen to the dozen as he sweats profusely;
露;Dew         ;It's wonderful to go out along the paths around your house after a night of rain; as you can watch the dew condensed on everything on the path;
泻;Diarrhea         ;Diarrhea flows out like water; writing off the meal that you ate last night.;
异;Different         ;This snake(skin) oil salesman shakes his two hands in front of him in protest: "no, my product is different from those fraudsters"!;;
难;Difficult         ;It's difficult to find a turkey's crotch under all those feathers;;
勤;Diligent         ;If you are as diligent about eating your spinach as Popeye; then you too can grow fantastic muscles! Alternatively; the school cafeteria manager decided
餐;Dine         ;You go to dine at a restaurant in the evening. The chef waves the magic wand in his right hand; and delicious food springs into being! Amazing!;
废;Discard         ;When people wanted to discard the One Ring; they sent Frodo as a courier through the caves of Moria and Mordor to do the job;
绝;Discontinue         ;I'm afraid we've had to discontinue that line of threads - the colours just aren't "in" this season, you know?;;
折;Discount         ;You get the five fingered discount on a tomahawk that took your fancy; smuggling it out of the shop under your jacket;
辩;Dispute         ;Tempers have been inflamed in this dispute by mutual consumption of spicy dishes laden with chilli peppers. As a result; the words being exchanged are very peppery indeed!;
溶;Dissolve         ;When the snow on top of the mountains dissolves it turns into water and flows down to the rooftops of the houses in the valley below;;
配;Distribute         ;To distribute whisky bottles during Prohibition you would have to be as sneaky as a snake. It's much easier to keep all the whisky for yourself!;;
作;Do         ;This shows a person in the act of doing something quite illegal: sawing up his fiancee!;;
房;Domicile         ;People; like pigeons; posess an unerring internal compass that can lead them back to the door of their domicile even when inebriated
别;Don’t         ;In the code of this order of warriors; it's a great sin to use another man's sword. Hence this character; which communicates the stern injunction: don't do that!
户;Door         ;Instead of a bead curtain; this bar has as it's door a shredded national flag (a number of drops of a flag) - risking the ire of the police;
两;Dos         ;Dos persons hooked to the matrimonial yoke.;;
龙;Dragon         ;A fake dragon in a play; made by dressing a pooch up in a long tail of metallic spoons. Very cute!;
剧;Drama         ;In todays society; drama and film making is pretty much the only industries you can reside in that will put your saber-fighting skills to work;
引;Draw         ;Put a walking stick into the bow and draw it back; ready to let loose at the geezer you stole it from;
画;Drawing         ;You have been trapped in a prison pit; and your only means of relieving the tedium is to draw the myriad images romping through your brain on the ceiling of your cell.;
曼;Drawn out         ;If you want to draw out the day; the best approach is to catch the sun in a net with your right hand and keep hold of it until you have completed your tasks and you release it to progress across the sky;
垂;Droop         ;This porter's shoulders are drooping under the weight of all the silage they are being made to carry.;;
旱;Drought         ;This is drought weather: sun beating down above; the land is bone dry and all the crops are dying!;
干;Dry (adj.)         ;Clothesline;;
俩;Duo         ;It takes dos people to make a comic duo - if they are yoked together in matrimony; there are even more opportunities for laffs.;
昏;Dusk         ;At dusk every day I go out in one of those airplanes that leaves a vapour trail and write my family name just above the setting sun. (I have to wait until dusk so that the sun is low enough in the sky).;;
住;Dwell         ;Chuck Norris doesn't need light to see; so he keeps his dwelling pitch black - mere mortals have to bring a candlestick with them;
宅;Dwelling         ;Mrs Jones' house has been completely taken over by her furball cats, which dwell there permanently. NB: to distingish this from e.g. reside, remember that "dwelling" is somehow longer than residing, and that the cats have been there their whole lives, and will stay there until they die!;;
东;East         ;Drops of sweat pouring off the driver of a rickshaw (a kind of car) in the Far East.;;
易;Easy         ;The sun is knot an easy place to get to;;
宇;Eaves         ;Rather than stay in the eaves of a church; these bats have made themselves a house by hanging upside down on the hooks of a clothing conveyor!;
育;Education         ;Education is something you administer to your infant - but if he doesn't attend to his studies; you punish him with a good spanking to his exposed flesh;
蛋;Egg         ;The egg of a very rare insect - every zoo in the world wants to get their hands on it!;;
电;Electricity         ;Benjamin Franklin's kite.;;
秀;Elegant         ;Wheat farmers have a very simple but elegant way of harvest wild rice - just pull up bunches of it in their fists;;
象;Elephant         ;Elephants have huge ears (like those on a rabbit's head) and a big fat body (like that of a sow);;
除;Eliminate         ;You have to eliminate all excess weight by using a scale if you want to reach the pinnacle of Mount Everest - even if you are in the pinnacle of physical condition; you could be eliminated otherwise! Alternatively; your are eliminating your enemies by pushing them off an excessively tall pinnacle.
空;Empty         ;If you want to make something empty; you first need to work to make a hole in it;
励;Encourage         ;You are a contestant in a rock climbing contest - you are making the first ten thousand foot ascent in history; and halfway up the cliffs your muscles are screaming at you! The encouragement of your supporters (who just look like ants below you) is what keeps you going.;
忍;Endure         ;A ninja must endure the pain of clinging to the ceiling for hours on end to find just the right moment to drop down and thrust his blade into an enemies heart;;
英;England         ;England is the world's centre for flowers (notably the English rose) and big fat dogs.;;
诱;Entice         ;The best way a woman can entice a man is with elegant words;;
整;Entire         ;This entirely corrupt taskmaster gives away the entire correct answers to the exam in a surreptitious bundle to the student;;
托;Entrust         ;When crazy old Mrs Jones went away to visit her cousin; she entrusted the care and feeding of her fat old furball to you. Her cat is really horrible and keeps trying to nip at your fingers - so much so that you really want to entrust it to God instead!;
纪;Epoch         ;Epochs move in a cycle like an oroboros: a snake that forms a continuous thread by eating its own tail;;
彦;Erudite         ;Your fellow bungee-jumper in the product advertising stunt is a very erudite fellow who is wearing a rooster suit and is advertising organic chicken in an eloquent manner: "Dear sirs, I beg leave of you that you might gaze briefly on my fine poulty products - I testify without fear of contradiction that no more beautiful chickens have graced the Earth since the time of Julius Caesar";;
设;Establish         ;Nowadays; a nuclear missile and a few well-chosen words are enough to establish you as a major world power (and the target of a US covert ops team..);
等;Etc.         ;The Bamboo Buddhist Temple has bamboo buddhas; bamboo buildings; bamboo benches
欧;Europe         ;Europe is the most boring region of the world - even its own citizens have trouble not yawning all day;;
避;Evade         ;To evade his attackers; James Bond sprays slippery hot sauce from his latest car onto the road. The pursuit swerves off the road and explodes impressively!;
评;Evaluate         ;If you evaluate something fairly then your words will be measured and even;;
平;Even         ;Water-lily floating evenly on the surface of the water;;
更;Even more         ;You're working on your tan in the yard; but your son points out that you can get even more rays if you go and sit on the ceiling with a mirror tucked under your arm to redirect the rays.;
检;Examine         ;If you examine all the trees is the forest closely; eventually you'll find the hollow one in which owls hold their secret hootenannys.;
例;Example         ;Chuck Norris always sets a good example of how to queue at the supermarket - anyone who steps out of the line-up gets a swift roundhouse kick;;
优;Excellent         ;In a previously unpublished episode of Bill and Teds Excellent Adventures; they go forward into the future where half the world is ruled by Chuck Norris and the other half by the Frankenpooch; and get to witness the ultimate battle of good versus evil. Excellent!
余;Excess         ;Excess weight! This clothing conveyer has a scale built into its hooks; but the scale is too small to register the weight of the umbrella you've hung on it; so the needle is spinning around and around. Is the umbrella full of rocks or something??
兴;Excitement         ;There is great excitement in the crowd of owls as they hear something's animal legs scurry across the floor. A few moments later; the legs are all that is left; as the other parts have been swallowed into their beaks.
施;Execute         ;This army communicates with a series of coded banners: a banner with a Scorpion pictures means Start, and the one with a Horse picture means Halt. So, if you see a scorpion banner, that means "execute the orders"!;;
尽;Exhausted         ;This ruler measures the depth of the polar ice caps - and it looks like they are almost exhausted!;;
费;Expense         ;That's really expensive! I can't afford to spend those sort of clams on an item that has so many dollar signs attached to it. Alternatively; dollar signs light up (high up) in the eyes of the shop keeper who spots a potential customer with plenty of clams (low down; in their hands) looking for his expensive item.
贵;Expensive         ;If you want to buy an expensive thing; you might not be able to fit all the shells you need to make the purchase into your purse...;
释;Explain         ;A mystery unexplained by science: why aliens like to probing crotches and dropping down to crush cornstalks beneath their spaceships.;;
申;Express         ;This is a street performance dance; expressing a funny story: it ends with the man singing (his tounge wagging in his mouth) while he holds a walking stick in his mouth; a monkey balancing on each end.
伸;Extend         ;Monkeys are part of the extended family tree of people;;
睛;Eyeball         ;Your eyeball is the part of your eye that you use to look through a telescope;;
眼;Eyelet         ;The eyelet of a needle is presumably the hole where an eyeball should go; and is made from silvery steel;
面;Face-to-face         ;One hundred people facing off against each other; eyes unblinking - eyeball to eyeball.;
派;Faction         ;It's guerilla war; and you've joind the transvestite faction! Dressed in a drag and a bandana; you wade through the water surrounding an enemy base in preperation for a sneak attack
信;Faith         ;If you can have faith in anything in this world; it's Chuck Norris' words;
差;Fall short of         ;It's a little known fact that when properly spun lambs wool can be stronger than steel thread. Thus when this building site fell short of I-beams they substituted wool instead.;;
虚;FALSE;A multiple-choice exam question: you may own a tiger without having "zookeeper" as your profession? False!;;
氏;Family name         ;Looks like FT: Family Title;;
命;Fate         ;When you are born; your soul is mailed to you body - and the stamp on the envelope tells the ethereal postal service where the soul fits; and hence its fate.
感;Feel         ;If you feel sad; your heart is likely to weep salty tears of grief;
情;Feelings         ;If someone hurts your feelings then your state of mind will be blue. If they make you jealous; your state of mind will be green. Either way; your feelings effect your state of mind.
档;Files         ;Files are made up of trees that decided to quit their old job of being decorative and work as white-collar employees instead;;
孝;Filial piety         ;Watch out children: Santa Claus won't get you a present if you don't practice filial piety!;;
指;Finger         ;His fingers moved purposefully up her thighs..;;
甲;First         ;This shows the first root of a sprout: the taproot;;
扁;Flat         ;The book cover (door) you ripped off the tome is lying flat on the floor where you let it fall. You'll soon join it when the librarian wallops your head...;;
逸;Flee         ;People would withdraw or retreat; but rabbits flee down the road in blind panic when they see a hunter coming.;
雾;Fog         ;This fog is the perfect cover for us to perform our task undetected...;;
食;Food         ;You are enjoying your high quality food under an umbrella in the Italian sun - heaven! In fact; you swear you saw someone with a halo walk by...;
脚;Foot         ;The foot is the part of your body that you need to withdraw from the ass of those people that have pissed you off;;
乍;For the first time         ;I "saw" Saw IV for the first time today - and it was so bad that afterwards I had a strong desire to saw the directors body in two;;
忘;Forget         ;You can only truly forget her when she perishes in your heart;;
堡;Fort         ;Like the city walls; this fort's walls are built out of soil. The fort itself is a safeguard against the outside world.;
础;Foundation         ;The foundation stone; as the most important stone in the building; has big ambitions. It wants to exit the jail it is part of and move into a cathedral!
禽;Fowl         ;The Guinea fowl are leaving for Papau New Guinea for the winter; but the weather looks fowl; so they take an umbrella to shelter themselves from the rain during the journey
脆;Fragile         ;A pair of aliens are laughing: "Human flesh is so fragile - the slightest danger can kill them!";;
馨;Fragrant         ;The civil war started over (like so many of these things) the love of the beautiful Fragrant Rose. Many people said her perfume was to die for; and now that assertion has been put to the test and not found wanting.;
鲜;Fresh         ;The freshest fish is caught in the middle of the night; when everyone else is counting sheep in bed!;
友;Friend         ;Friends with benefits - a crotch by your side;;
寒;Frigid         ;It's so frigid outside that your hamster cage is entirely encased in ice and the poor little critters are trapped inside the ice block; flash-frozen! You'd better heat them up...;
戏;Frolic         ;Frolicing at a sex party - crotch fiesta!;;
襟;Front of a garment         ;This flasher is prohibited from lifting up the cloak at the front of their garment;;
果;Fruit         ;If only Eve had used her brains and not taken the forbidden fruit from that tree;;
甫;Fu         ;Fu Machnu's moustache is needle thin - it's just a drop either side of the lips. He must utilize a lot of time making it so precise!;;
薪;Fuel         ;If your fire's fuel still has flowers growing on it; it is too new and you need to wait before using it.;
满;Full         ;To get flowers into full bloom requires the application of plenty of water and some nice soil; ploughed up by a team of dos oxon yoked together - breeding flowers is full time work!;
丧;Funeral         ;At a funeral you lower the deceased into the soil. To one side of the grave stands a demon wearing animal horns; and to the other side stands an angel wearing a barette to tie back her hair - they are viciously staring at each other; vying for the soul of the dead man. (In fact
集;Gather         ;When the hunter-gatherers come by; these particularly smart turkeys flee to the tops of the trees;
柔;Gentle         ;A spear is far too gentle an implement to cut down a tree - you need something much heavier duty than that!;;
鬼;Ghost         ;This is not really a ghost; but rather a zombie: zombies obviously prefer a drop of brains for their meals; but if that's not available they will settle for human legs or elbows - any sort of joint
给;Give         ;If your loved one uses some thread to repair your clothes; make sure you meet your mouth with theirs to give them some thanks!;
还;Give back         ;You give back to the community by building a new road linking your village with the rest of China. Until it's done, a big "NO" sign warns drivers not to go up it.;;
愁;Gloomy         ;This character depicts someone with seasonal mood disorder - with bright summer over; the gloomy autumn sends their heart into a gloomy mood;
荣;Glory         ;You're growing a purple Glory Tree inside your greenhouse - it's truly glorious; but growing so big that it's almost reached the roof. Perhaps it's time to take it outside; so it can glory in the direct sunlight?
返;Go back         ;When you decide to turn around and go back the way you came on the road you are naturally going against the drag of the crowd;;
游;Go swimming         ;You were going to go swimming in the local pool, but you arrive to find it full of screaming children: the banner reads "Lil Mikey's Birthday Party". You can't get have any fun in the water with that going on!;;
神;Gods         ;This is Zeus' latest purchase for Mount Olympus: an altar in the shape of a monkey head. Not in the best of taste...;;
幸;Good fortune         ;With good fortune; a single brush stroke can turn an amazingly spicy pepper into an agreeable condiment.;
艳;Gorgeous         ;Gorgeous women get to engage in plentiful colourful sex acts;;
府;Government office         ;Working in a government office is boring; and the working conditions may be no better than a cave; but at least you know that you will always be paid on time
抓;Grab         ;Lost in the wilderness; you've been reduced to fighting with the local animals for food. Here; you are grabbing a tasty morsel of roadkill by snatching it with your fingers from the claws of a vulture
渐;Gradually         ;Water has the a gradual means of hewing a great canyon into the rock: over millions of years it gradually erodes a channel; so eventually it looks like a great tomahawk has been gradually pulled through the land;
雄;Grand         ;As part of your job in the embassy to Turkeyland; you are sometimes required to entertain grand visitors from the country. At the attendant dinners; you have to mind your manners by keeping your elbows off the table and by your side
颗;Granule         ;The granules are the individual seeds/pollen at the head of every sheaf of rice in this rice field - the fruit of its loins!;;
伟;Great         ;Chuck Norris is a great person: he took on the worlds greatest briar patch head on; attacking it with shears; and only minutes later it was demolished - never again to destroy someones tanned hide jacket!
迎;Greet         ;The stamp collectors are waiting to greet the mailman as he arrives on their road: "got any interesting ones for me, Joe"?;;
研;Grind away         ;You use your two hands to grind away at your grain on the millstone; turning it into a fine powder for flower;
罪;Guilt         ;Guilty as charged; in the eye of the law. I'm sending you to a jail cell!;
枪;Gun         ;These particularly stupid criminals are using guns to hold up a lumberyard (tree storehouse) rather than the bank next door.;;
屋;Habitation         ;Until you find something better; you've set up your habitation draped a cozy layering of American flags on the street;
康;Hale         ;This recluse stays hale and hearty despite living in a cave miles from civilization; being as thin as a rake and drinking only snowflakes;
停;Halt         ;The only person powerful enough to halt the revolution of this revolving restaurant pavilion is - you guessed it - Chuck Norris;;
庄;Hamlet         ;Hobbiton is a small hamlet built entirely of caves concealed under a thin layer of soil; for insulation and concealment;
汉;Han         ;If you stand at the water on the right hand side of China and look back; all the land you see is ruled by the Han;
挂;Hang         ;How is this ninja hanging from the ceiling? He has stuffed his fingers into the crevices of the bricks on either side of the room and is stretched taught between them.;;
福;Happiness         ;True happiness derives from the spiritual wealth that comes of worshiping at an altar;;
硬;Hard         ;These rocks are even more hard and uncomfortable to sleep on than I remember...;;
和;Harmony         ;People could live in peace and harmony if only they could always fill their bellies by stuffing their mouths full of plentiful wild rice - it is a shortage of food that leads to wars!;;
须;Have to         ;You have to see this! Someone has a rooster tail growing out of the front of their head; and is clucking like a chicken; scratching around on the ground for worms!
鹰;Hawk         ;This shows birdman in his secret bird-cave with his sidekick; Hawk;
头;Head         ;The head of a St. Bernard dog carved out of ice - how adorable!;;
健;Healthy         ;How does Chuck Norris stay so healthy? The secret is that he builds himself up with a diet of the flesh of his vanquished enemies;;
闻;Hear         ;Along with the gate's giant mouth that asks riddles before it will let you through; there is of course a giant set of ears ready to hear your answer.;
重;Heavy         ;An extraordinarily heavy computer; that weighed more than a thousand times what a computer does nowadays (as well as being a thousand times as slow...);
跟;Heel         ;This flashy pirate has made the heel of their wooden leg out of silver; ensuring increased durability. Will anyone else follow this trend?;
麻;Hemp         ;If you're lying on your bed smoking hemp and start to see double it means that it's time to stop!;;
斩;Hew         ;The native americans waiting by the road fall upon the car; using their tomahawks to hew open the locks and drag out the unfortunate owner;
良;High-quality         ;If something contains even a drop of silver it must be very high quality - silver is just that expensive!;;
丘;Hill         ;A row of tomahawks driven into the ground of a hill up to their heads;;
雇;Hire         ;We'll hire any old turkey that walks through the door;;
其;His-hers-its-theirs         ;A big hamper filled with clothes for his; her; them and it (the cat
史;History         ;History students used to go to school with a history book tucked under their arm. Today; they have a small talking mouth there instead which constantly tells them about history.;
揪;Hold tight         ;Your fingers hold tight to the rope of a helicopter rescuing you from a field of wild rice that has caught fire in the unusually dry autumn weather;;
穴;Hole         ;Hole in eight! By the house rules for this golf hole; that means that you win the round!;
节;Holiday         ;By the time you come back from holiday; your garden has become completely overrun: you need to go back in there and chop back the flowers before they take over completely!;
呐;Holler         ;When you holler; you open up your mouth and scream out all the rage that has been building up in your internals for months;
圣;Holy         ;Certain sects practise a holy ritual where you use your right hand to annoint your brow with soil from a holy site; bringing you closer to god.;
横;Horizontal         ;In Norse mythology; if you look horizontally at the horizon you will only see one of two things: the great world-tree; or the yellow of the horizon at the edge of the disk-world where the sun shines from.
怎;How?         ;You always planned to elope with your lover; but now your heart stops for the first time to consider how much trouble that would actually involve. You can't SAW how you could ever of thought it was a good idea! In fact; she's getting so annoying that you are tempted to take a saw to her..
但;However         ;However strong Chuck Norris is; he still has to sleep - that's why the best time to attack him is at daybreak; when he is slightly more defenceless than usual
枢;Hub         ;The commercial hub of London is the region around the oak tree where the London Stock Exchange was founded;;
彩;Hue         ;To paraphrase Henry Ford: you can pick any hue for a roosters tail; as long as it's red.;
赶;Hurry         ;Hurry up! A storm is coming in; so we won't stay dry for long if we just walk back!;
意;Idea         ;This person has just had a great idea - they are so excited at the prospect that the sound of their heart beating is clearly audible;;
齐;Identical         ;Despite being identical twins; these two grow up quite differently: one becomes a Highlander like his daddy; but the other is left on crutches for the rest of his life due to an early accident with a sporran and becomes an accountant instead.
病;Illness         ;The caveman with a hangover got even more ill after flying third class; cooped up with like cattle;
即;Immediately         ;If you want your letter to be delievered immediately; you need to pay more and get a silver stamp;
贫;Impoverished         ;After you were forced to part with a load of your shells by bandits; you were left impoverished;
括;Include         ;To include every child in a conversation at school; you can request that everyone holds their tongue until they have a finger pointed at them by the teacher;
吸;Inhale         ;This person is inhaling just before diving into a large and icy pool. Their mouth is open; sucking in air; and their hands are outstretched ready for the dive.
创;Initiate         ;This saber-wielding supervillan initiates the self-destruct sequence in the nuclear weapon storehouse of his hidden underground base.;;
疯;Insane         ;The caveman with the hangover has been driven insane by its constant pounding; and started to believe that he is the wind - he now runs around outside his cave; whistling like the wind the whole time and blowing onto passers-by
视;Inspect         ;The health inspector heard rumours of animal sacrificies being carried out in this religious cult - so he's come to see the altar and inspect it for traces of unclean Satanic ritual;;
院;Inst.         ;The Acropolis was the site of an institute that studied the Greek gods - that all finished with the fall of the Acropolis; however;
慧;Intelligent         ;This highly intelligent genetic engineer has modified these two bushes: one extrudes wonderfull; fully-functional brooms instead of leaves; and the other produces artificial wooden hearts which work just as well as the real thing!
烈;Intense         ;The Nazis were maliciously intense about enforcing the superiority of the Aryan race - here they have lined up nonconformists and are marching them into the cooking fires; where they will be reduced to bones;
趣;Interest         ;A crowd is gathering on the other side of the street - something interesting must be going on; so you walk over there to take a look;
内;Internal         ;A seat belt keeps a person internal to the vehicle; rather than external and splattered all over the road;
间;Interval         ;Because the interval between suns is so large; the star-gates were created to help bridge them.;
请;Invite         ;You invited a few friends round for some drinks at your house; but the words got out and telescoped out of control! Now you have a full blown house party going on; and none of your words are helping to move the resulting mound of grown-up flesh from the house.
铁;Iron         ;Iron is a metal that gradually becomes lost due to oxidation and rust;;
岛;Island         ;A mountain in the ocean that birds can rest on when they are crossing it. The island is covered by a mountain of guano (eww!).;;
职;Job         ;You are hoping to get a job at a freak show as the exhibit next to the huge mouth with animal legs by showing off your curiously deformed and bloated ears as the only ones of their kind;;
喜;Joyful         ;This is a joyful "songs of praise" style event. The church is filled with the sound of many mouths and a strong drum beat.;;
刚;Just now         ;The messenger runs breathlessly up the ridge of a hill to the commanders of the army to tell them that just now Major Fothringay was run through by his own saber! Most unsporting!;;
杀;Kill         ;You kill someone by impaling them on a pole; and then hide the corpse under a pile of sheaves;
恩;Kindness         ;What causes you to perform acts of kindness? The heart; of course!;
厨;Kitchen         ;Umm.. what happened to the kitchen? It fell off a cliff?? Wow; yes - I can see the table at the bottom of the cliff. What are we going to do now? Fetch it up and glue it back together again; I suppose...
揉;Knead         ;A massage: fingers gently kneading your back;;
知;Know         ;I should know - after all; I went to Dartmouth!;
博;Knowledgeable         ;Noone is more knowledgeable about how to inflict pain than Fu Manchu; who uses his Chinese-inch long needles to inflict agony on his victims.;
陆;Land         ;Standing on the pinnacle of the mountain; all the earth you can see around you is part of the land you own.;
巷;Lane         ;The lanes of this road are marked in an unusual way: there is a giant snakeskin tube encasing each lane; keeping each lane of traffic together. Unfortunately; it is rather dark and smelly in the tubes..
笑;Laugh (v.)         ;You have to laugh: I met my early death by impaling myself on a bamboo fence in ridiculous circumstances;;
律;Law         ;Those who have had a brush with the law queue up in front of the courthouse to await their trial;;
靠;Lean on         ;The cow with the huge mouth is secretely a resistance member: she leans of the door of your jail cell to break you free! "Quickly, get away while you can!" she declares.;;
革;Leather         ;Would you be interested in buying this fine leather jacket? As you can see; it has fine needlework; and twenty button holes (mouthes). I'll sell it to you for the price of feeding twenty mouths for a year...
腿;Leg         ;The leg is the part of your body that lets you retreat in good time - if you like; you have it away on your thighs;
闲;Leisure         ;Imagine the gates to the Garden of Eden - the ultimate land of leisure. You're not allowed in; but if you peek through you can see trees.;
课;Lesson         ;The point of a lesson is to fill your students with words that will bear fruit for them in the future;;
坪;Level ground         ;If the earth is even and flat then you have found a spot of level ground;;
盖;Lid         ;This is a slow-cooking sheep stew. It will make a delicious dish; but you need to keep the lid on while cooking to keep the flavour in.;
生;Life         ;You started out as a tiny drop (a cell) inside your mother; but life had its way and it grew up to become you!;
举;Lift up         ;This time; the excited owls are lifting up a little thing with animal legs from  in between some corn stalks; fighting over the remains as they lift.
轻;Lightweight         ;Your wallet is feeling a bit lightweight these days; but you can reduce your petrol costs by getting a lightweight car. Such cars are perfect for car (s)pooling!;
像;Likeness         ;This epic statue shows a perfect likeness of Chuck Norris' epic battle against an elephant (Chuck won; naturally).;
亦;Likewise         ;Apples are likewise a shade of crimson. William Tell was forced to shoot a crimson apple off the head of his son after he failed to bow to Gessler's top-hat on a pole in his village. Thankfully; he managed it first time and so only needed one of his two crossbow bolts (the drops); rather than having to fire one at Gessler and hence risk being cut down by the sabers of his guards.
线;Line         ;Have you ever wondered why the floats in a parade always proceeded in a line; rather than side-by-side? The answer is that they are all attached together with a super-strong thread; being dragged by a tractor at the front!
列;Line up         ;Your skeletal warriors are lined up in ranks; sabers at the ready.;
系;Lineage         ;DNA is one long drop of miniscule floss; precisely encoding your lineage;
液;Liquid         ;Water that comes out a night: a liquid dream? I prefer the thought of moonlight so thick that it's almost liquid light spilling langorously out into the night;;
酒;Liquor         ;If you're fond of hard liquor; you'll drink from the whisky bottle like it's full of water;
听;Listen         ;If you won't listen to reason - what's coming out of my mouth - perhaps you'll listen to force - my tomahawk!;;
文;Literature         ;A Highlander wearing a tam o'shanter and kilt.;;
寂;Lonely         ;This picture refers to creepy uncle Scrooge; who lived loney and alone in a large house;
看;Look at         ;You are trying to get a better look at some object far off in the distant desert; so you lift up your hand to shield your eyes;
顾;Look Back         ;Like Lot at Sodom; if you turn your head to look back at the cliff collapsing onto a town of sinners you will be turned into a snakeskin purse;
找;Look for         ;This is another one of those fiesta games - in this one; you have to manipulate the fingers of a grabber game to get a cuddly animal as a prize.;
仰;Look up to         ;The one set of people that Chuck Norris truly looks up to is the stamp collectors. What other set of people are so dedicated and law-abiding?;;
姿;Looks         ;A woman's personality is the most important thing; and her looks secondary;
失;Lose         ;The drop falling here is the husband's toupee... he's already lost his hair once; now he's losing it again. Such is life; I suppose.
迷;Lost         ;This smart pair of fairytale children left a trail of rice grains behind them when they wandered into the woods alone so they could get back out - they just need to follow the rice road they left behind;;
低;Low         ;Those persons of low birth are forced to become tradesmen and force their calling cards on potential clients.;;
足;Lower leg         ;This pirates lower leg (from the kneecap to the foot) was taken off by the mouth of a shark and replaced with a wooden one; so now wherever he goes he leaves a trail of circular footprints;
卑;Lowly         ;Someone of lowly origins; selling their brains to make some quick cash: a needle is sucking drops of brain out of their skull; drop by drop
块;Lump         ;Like it or lump it; said the French revolutionaries: we're going to guillotine the royals and return the soil to the control of the people; whether you like it or not
堂;Main Room         ;If your budget is so limited that you can only afford a house with one main room; you better get the one with an outhouse - a true essential! Unfortunately; you'll probably get soiled by sleeping in there as well...
维;Maintain         ;You think this old car has reached the end of its thread (not line - it's even more tenuous than that). It's a real turkey now; and prohibitively expensive to maintain.;
做;Make         ;If you even so much as think about making a nuclear bomb; Chuck Norris will snap off your fingers quite deliberately; one by one
约;Make an appointment         ;This soup chef organises his kitchen around a giant thread with ladles threaded on to it - to make an appointment with the kitchen you thread the appropriately-coloured ladle onto the thread and wait.;;
男;Male         ;The only purpose of males is as a powerful source of labour for working the fields;;
妈;Mama         ;Your mama is a lovely but put-upon woman; and was always telling you to stop horsing around while she tried to do her work.;
办;Manage         ;Body builders may have great muscles but are hopeless at managing their money - the very thought makes their muscles break out in two drops of sweat;;
侯;Marquis         ;Chuck Norris is made a marquis. However; to claim his title he has to deal with the deposed former incumbent: the Marquis de Sade! Chuck takes him out with a well-aimed dart to the head; securing himself the key to the city.
婚;Marriage         ;The day of marriage is the day in this woman's life where she gets a new family name. She has her marriage in the evening; which is why the sun is low in the sky.;
妇;Married woman         ;The lot of a married woman is to wield the broom around the house;;
席;Mat         ;You've been forced to make your home in caverns due to a nuclear holocaust - but; lacking a bed; you simply sleep on a mat made of towels. Uncomfortable
料;Material         ;You have no material goods apart from this huge measuring cup full of rice (about  litres of it...);;
事;Matter         ;Just one word about this matter from your mouth and you will find this rake across it;;
饭;Meal         ;At mealtimes you eat your food against the backdrop of an TV episode or some other entertainment. Mealtimes are the only things that will drag you out of contemplation of that idea that has been eating you up!;;
肉;Meat         ;This x-ray of a cannibal shows a man whose insides are full of the meat of two people;;
药;Medicine         ;You're going to the doctors to get some medicine to treat your allergy to flowers; but first you need to make an appointment. This is quite hard when you can't stop sneezing over the phone!;
会;Meeting         ;A clever method of getting rid of incompetent employees: send them to a business meeting in a room which can be activated so that the walls... meet. Gory but effective!;;
瓜;Melon         ;If you claw at a girl's melons; she's likely to give you an elbow in the face.;
贾;Merchant         ;If you are a savvy merchant in the Old West you stand to make a bunch of clams - particularly if you are in a gold-mining area...;;
仅;Merely         ;Chuck Norris could defeat you merely using the power in his right hand;;
法;Method         ;In this outdated judicial method; witches from Salem are dunked in water until they are all gone...;
都;Metropolis         ;In the dark, futuristic metropolis of Ghost in the Shell, people can download into "puppets" which they control through telepresence, safe within the confines of the city walls.;;
奶;Milk         ;This homely woman is milking a cow; her fist wrapped around it's teat;
交;Mingle         ;Even though your father is an old man; he still dons his top hat and goes to mingle at all the parties; trying to pick up some girls
错;Mistaken         ;In times past; we mistook gold for money. Now we know better - any piece of paper can be money!;
讽;Mock         ;Mocking the wind is no good at all: it implacably swallows up your words and swirls past you.;;
娘;Mom         ;Your mum must have been a saint (had a halo) to endure your nonsense all these years!;;
君;Monarch         ;Monarchs are like just any other overseer; but since they think they have the right of God on their side they are even bitchier and mouthier than usual;
且;Moreover         ;A stack of shelves on the ground holds a huge collection of medals and trophies. The owner is painstakingly showing you each one in turn, and when he's finally done with those he points above the shelves, saying "and there are more, over the others";;
晨;Morning         ;Bruce Lee is very much a morning person - in fact; he's up and cheerful before the sun comes up (although it eventually rises above his head; as shown in the character).
蚊;Mosquito         ;Mosquitos are principally found in Scotland; where the insects bother the highlanders to their hearts content.;
最;Most         ;You have to take the most care when you sunbathe (take in the sun) or you'll end up burnt from your ears to your crotch;;
动;Move         ;Atlas's muscles were so powerful that he could actually move the enormous cloud in which heaven was located;;
泥;Mud         ;A mud-wrestling show with a nun splashing around in the water - two fetishes combined;;
楼;Multistory building         ;This multistory building is not quite what the bride had in mind when her husband talked about a marital home - since it's just a tree with a few rude platforms lashed to it!;;
乐;Music         ;A didgeridoo musician makes sound by plowing into a truncated pole of wood which he must drag with him to all of his performances;;
得;Must         ;In Socialist Russia; you must start queuing from daybreak to buy the most simple of household items - even glue!;
互;Mutual         ;Two walls mutually leaning against each other for the benefit of both;;
述;Narrate         ;A convincing narrator is a key part of the art of making a road-trip movie that will play well in arthouse cinemas;;
近;Near         ;Native americans are hiding near the road; tomahawks at the ready; waiting to attack any car foolish enough to stop. Alternatively
否;Negate         ;Someone ate the "no" to negate it. You negate what someone is saying by slapping a "NO" symbol over it.;;
网;Net         ;I don't have a story that won't be confused with the ridge of the hill. Remember it as the expansion of the net primitive.;;
新;New         ;Sometimes you wish you could use a tomahawk to lop off your family tree and get totally new relatives!;;
报;Newspaper         ;This indie newspaper is doing manual mailouts: the fingers on the right hands of its editors are affixing stamps to the copies they send out;;
夜;Night         ;The extra stroke on the "evening" element represents the tuxedo tails on the suit with top hat that I'm wearing out with my special person this evening - we're going to have the night of our lives!;;
晚;Nightfall         ;When night falls on the forest; the sun is squeezed out by the falling night and all the fluffy white bunnies look like dark brown hares in the dim light. (Imagine the falling darkness squeezing the colour out of the rabbits).;
第;No.         ;The dollar is the No.  currency in the world today - but the Asian currencies (the bamboo currencies!) are fast catching up;;
非;Non-         ;Bars of a jail-cell; for persons engaged in non-legal activities.;
勿;Not         ;A piglet minus his head leaves a (k)notted tail;;
没;Not have         ;It's a dire situation. You are aboard a submarine being pursued by destroyers and you not have any torpedos (water missiles). It looks like you not have a chance and are doomed to a watery grave...;;
核;Nucleus         ;From the nucleus of an acorn's cells springs an entire oak tree!;;
数;Number         ;One of the advantages of being a supreme taskmaster is that you can take any number of brides for your harem;;
尼;Nun         ;Red Cross nuns sit under the Red Cross flag; spooning out food to the hungry;
观;Observe         ;This male is observing the women in the club with the air of a connisouer - he doesn't see them with his eyes but with his crotch;;
显;Obvious         ;Captain Obvious' profession is to tell people that the sun is going to rise tomorrow - despite the fact that nothing has ever been so obvious as that.;;
际;Occasion         ;This is an occasion to be remembered! A real human sacrifice on an altar here in the Acropolis! We're so lucky!;;
洋;Ocean         ;The waters of the Pasheephic Ocean;;
之;Of         ;Sign of Zorro;;
与;Offer         ;You are forced into accepting the mafiosas offer of protection at slingshot-point(ed tail);;
祭;Offer sacrifice         ;This dedicated religious nutcase offers up the flesh of his crotch as a sacrifice on the altar. When they cut it off it hurts like hell.;;
支;Offshoot         ;You slide down the branch of a pine tree; getting a load of needles stuck in your crotch. Ouch!;
常;Often         ;You've had to use the outhouse so often that you've run out of paper. Use the towel instead!;;
油;Oil         ;A technical method of extending the life of an oil field: pump sea water and a one dead field will sprout oil once more in a giant spout!;;
老;Old man         ;An old man; wondering what it's like in a grave; *sits* in a freshly dug plot.  When a gravekeeper mistakes him for dead and begins burying him with *soil*
婆;Old woman         ;Just like the old man whose ancient flesh was sent out into the lake; this old woman has outlived her usefulness and is being tossed into the waves by her ungrateful ancestors;
姐;Older sister         ;Your older sister is a frequent participant in beauty pageants and the owner of that shelf full of awards that she was showing you earlier.;;
再;Once more         ;Once more into the breach; dear friends: we can die gloriously; and have our corpses displayed to the public under glass cover ceilings before they are buried under the soil.
乎;Ooh!         ;Ooh la la! What a stylishly tilted water lily!;;
拣;Opt for         ;Walking home late at night in the rain; you opt for a rickshaw instead by sticking your fingers into the air to hail it as it drives by.;
令;Orders         ;You recieve your orders; signed with the commanders chop; after meeting with an official messenger. The seal looks genuine
嘴;Orifice         ;The mouth is the natural orifice into which you cram spoons; and if you put them in at the right angle you can sometimes get your footsteps in there too (e.g. if you put your foot in your mouth!);
孤;Orphan         ;An orphan is a child who will never know the joy of suckling on his mother's melons.;;
应;Ought to         ;Owls ought to clean up after themselves - as it is; they leave a terrible mess of owl pellets on the floor of any cave they stay in.;
统;Overall         ;By the time you're writing the overall conclusions for your report you may be tempted to relax - but you shouldn't! You still have sufficient thread to hang yourself; if you make some over-generalisation.;
双;Pair         ;Crotch to crotch is how many pairs spend their private time together...;;
爸;Papa         ;Your papa may be a crusty old man; but he's still your father!;
纸;Paper         ;A ridiculously expensive; and rather pointless; Japanese type of paper for writing letters
参;Participate         ;St. Bernards dog disqualified from participation in the olympics because his excessive elbowing of the other side during ice hockey caused the captain of the rooster team to have his tail cut off.;;
伴;Partner         ;Your business partner represents the other half of the "legal person" that is your partnership;;
逝;Pass away         ;Your unloved uncle has passed away - so you get him a discount funeral from the Quick-E-Undertakers down the road and move on;;
穿;Pass through         ;Never mind passing a camel through the eye of a needle - can you pass this walrus and his tusks through the hole in your door?;;
路;Path         ;It's easy to find which path the pirates took - you can see where each one went by looking at the distinctive diameter of the footprints left by their wooden legs;;
怪;Peculiar         ;"Peculiar" is how I would describe the state of mind of anyone who decides to become a professional holy man;;
笔;Pen         ;This is an ancient sort of pen; made from a bamboo handle and an animal-hair (fur) tip for dipping into ink.;
透;Penetrate         ;You really want to penetrate your elegant rice-farming wife; but as you are a travelling salesman and on the road at the moment you will have to find other ways to relieve yourself...;
民;People         ;Once they'd learned to properly utilize their mouths to form a language; the people of the world all adopted family names; regardless of their race
辛;Peppery         ;A spicy chilli pepper that makes your hairs stand up as straight as needles;;
演;Perform         ;If you can't perform in bed (no water-like stuff will come out) then it may be a sign that you need a traditional Chinese remedy for impotence: extract of tiger!;;
香;Perfume         ;As the sun washes over the field of wild rice; a wonderfully fragrant perfume smell begins to come out of the plants;
险;Perilous         ;The most perilous time during a hootenanny for a young girl is the pinnacle of the evening; when all the drink has been drunk and the men are belligerent and looking for someone to go home with.;
期;Period of time         ;The longest period you can go without having to wash the contents of your laundry hamper is one month. Then; the clothes within start to becomes too rank and develop their own civilization...;
哲;Philosopher         ;If someone is a philosopher; you can certainly discount anything that comes out of their mouth as it will always be drivel;
医;Physician         ;This doctor prefers to use darts instead of syringes for injections. Here; he pulls out his box of sterile darts - the child on the examination table squirms; and the doctor begins to aim the dart at him
件;Piece         ;Chuck Norris is able to eat a cow in a single bite - he doesn't even need to cut it into more than one piece!;;
拼;Piece together         ;When you piece something together; you are gingerly using your fingers to combine several things - an example is when combining the parts of a puzzle;
猪;Pig         ;A pack of wild dogs chases Pinocchio; who's trying to escape by riding on the back of a pig. See him bouncing around as they race along?;
松;Pine Tree         ;The centerpiece of this scenic public park is a pine tree with eight elbows of knobbly wood projecting from it's base that are great for climbing on;;
管;Pipe         ;Pipes can be made out of hollow bamboo stalks; and promoting this use is exactly the job of the Bamboo Marketing Board bureaucrat;
板;Plank         ;How do you make planks? By dragging a tree against a massive circular saw!;;
台;Platform         ;This is a platform on which an orator is giving a grand speech. His mouth flaps open and closed and he makes wild gestures with his elbows to illustrate his points.;;
弄;Play with         ;This represents a jolly king playing with juggling balls - his two hands toss the balls around in huge arcs.;;
丰;Plentiful         ;A row of bushes bearing plentiful fruits.;;
党;Political Party         ;Every political party is full of shit. But nobody ever says how they get that way. Well; here's your answer - a political party memer is in the outhouse; greedily chowing down on the contents inside. He's grown so accustomed to the taste that he's in all the way
虑;Ponder         ;Ponder derives from the latin "ponderare" meaning "to weigh". This character shows the kind of weighing that goes on at a Chinese medicine market, as the stallholder carefully weighs out strips of tiger heart. You, the observer, site and ponder at the useless cruelty of it all.;;
港;Port         ;A port is the terminus for a shipping lane through the water;;
份;Portion         ;You better eat your portion of food quickly; or Chuck Norrise will be sure to take it (part you from it) - all those muscles burn a ton of energy!;
粉;Powder         ;This shows a most nefarious gunpowder plot - the enemy plans to part you from your rice stores by blowing up the army supply dump!;;
按;Press down on         ;You press your finger down on the Big Red Button and destroy the peace of the world forever as you let the missiles fly!;;
价;Price         ;Anything is available for the right price - and if you have enough money; I'll be able to get you an introduction to Chuck Norris; who is powerful enough to take down whole governments - for a price
版;Printing plate         ;A thin slice of metal pressed against the paper being printed on;;
产;Products         ;Bungee jumper dressed as a pickle to advertise organic farm products; standing on the edge of a cliff;
业;Profession         ;You start your profession side-by-side with those of the same ambition; and gradually begin to stand apart from them.;
奉;Proffer         ;The farmer respectfully proffers a cornstalk bonsai tree to the god of the harvest. Unfortunately; the god is enraged at the torture of his cornstalk; and he curses the farmers cornstalks rather that proffering any help!
禁;Prohibit         ;Smoking is prohibited; and so these tobacco trees are being sacrified on the altar of public health;
护;Protect         ;Agh! Protect your fingers from the closing doo.. too late. I'm sure they can sew those back on; let me just get some ice..;
公;Public         ;At the end of the fireworks display; there is a collective dash for the public toilet - eight sets of elbows tear into you as you try and be the first in line before it all gets too grungy;
拉;Pull         ;It is well known that Ghenghis Khan liked to eat the fingers of his enemies as a snack. In story we see him sitting on his throne and pulling them out of a vase and into his mouth one by one.;;
刑;Punishment         ;In ancient times; as punishment for thievery you would have a hand cut off. This character represents that concept - a saber is about to fall on someones two hands and cut the second one off;
清;Pure         ;Pure sea water will either be a radiant blue or green; depending on the mineral content.;
逐;Pursue         ;Your unusually intellegient sows have escaped from their pen and are making a break for freedom down the road. You had better pursue them!;;
推;Push         ;You're on a visit to a turkey farm; but you become trapped in the barn because an enormously fat turkey has blocked your path. You need to use all the strength in your fingers to push it out of the way.;
质;Quality         ;The surest way to determine the quality of the shellfish served by a restaurant is to drag ten of them through various dressings and see if you can still taste the salty freshness;;
伊;Queen Elizabeth         ;Queen Elizabeth is the person who is the ultimate overseer of the British government. Alternatively; Queen Elizabeth is just a puppet queen; and her true overseer is Chuck Norris!
速;Quick         ;Jack be nimble; Jack be quick; Jack jump over the bundle in the middle of the road.
静;Quiet         ;Radio telescopes work best in the peace and quiet away from civilization where they don't have to contend with lots of ambient electromagnetic radiation.;;
兔;Rabbit         ;Floppy rabbit ears bound up to its head; a big mouth for nibbling grass; and two long legs with a single drop (the tail) make up this picture of a rabbit.
珍;Rare         ;The attendee at a museum soiree makes off with a rare jewel that is on display by hiding it in his cocktail as he walks past the guards.;;
读;Read         ;Now I've started learning to read Chinese; I try and read every set of characters I can get my hands on - even the words that are trying to sell me something; like advertising
实;Reality         ;Your ice-sculpted bust of a St Bernard dog needs to be kept inside a cool-house; away from the harsh heat of reality; or else it will melt
收;Receive         ;You recieve a cornucopia by chance and suddenly you are your own taskmaster! You can tell your old taskmaster where to stuff it.;;
认;Recognize         ;You had better recognize the power of Chuck Norris!;;
红;Red         ;A worker got smacked with an I-beam and red stuff poured everywhere; until someone came along and patched him up with some thread;
精;Refined         ;Very refined people have skin the colour of rice and blue or green blood running through their veins;;
区;Region         ;All the regions of China are required to send boxes and boxes full of wheat sheaves to the central administration as tribute;;
规;Regulations         ;In this patriarchy; the regulations stipulate that every husband must father children with at least one women who is not his wife. Heaven for some!;
较;Relatively         ;You can repeat Einstein's famous experiments about relatively fast objects by going to any place where car owners mingle (like a car show) and getting them to demonstrate the power of their engines;;
亲;Relatives         ;The best way to deal with troublesome relatives is to tie them to telephone poles standing up in the middle of the desert and leave them for a while... it worked on Spartacus; anyway. Alternatively; you could feed the weaker-hearted members a small but extremely powerful birds eye chilli pepper...
确;Reliable         ;This shows the story of the screwdriver bound up in the stone: only a truly reliable carpenter will be able to pull it out and claim the honourable title of King Carpenter!;;
济;Relieve         ;You come to relieve the guards at the port. It's a really boring job to stare out at the identical water all day long; so the guards have to be relieved often.;
宗;Religion         ;This religion worships on an altar situated in the house of GOd;;
搬;Relocate         ;The missile boat has slipped through our fingers - we have to re-locate it before it can launch a missile at a sensitive target!;;
记;Remember         ;This intellectual snake has an unusal method of learning - instead of revising it gobbles up the words whole into it's belly!;;
遥;Remote         ;This is a remote control can opener used by the fire service for rescuing people from twisted wrecks of their cars by the roadside.;;
替;Replace         ;You're sick of your two timing husband; so you divorce him and get married to your hot new replacement husband - all in the course of a single day! So you have two husbands in one day :-);
斥;Reprimand         ;Young Native American warriors are reprimanded if they don't clean all the drops of blood from their tomahawks after a raiding party;;
辟;Repudiate         ;You wish you could repudiate your bet about who can eat the most chilli peppers: after stuffing your mouth with innumerable peppery foods you are ready to raise the white flag and let your opponent win!;;
究;Research         ;Research scientists have nine holes in their face: two nostrils; two ears; a mouth and four eyes
居;Reside         ;The places that people have chosen to reside in since ancient times gradually turn into distinct countries with their own flags;;
责;Responsibility         ;If you want to grow up and earn some clams you had better take on some responsibility. For example; if you went into business as an oyster breeder then your responsibility would be to make sure that the oysters grew up properly!;
退;Retreat         ;There is a huge army of silver-clad warriors advancing down the road! You had better retreat!;;
苏;Revive         ;This ancient necromancers recipie for the revival of the dead calls for a most rare ingredient: the sweat of a black rose in summer;;
财;Riches         ;The fastest route to riches is to ask a genie to magic you up some clams;;
谜;Riddle         ;You are getting totally lost in your attempt to solve this word riddle - you are just lost for words at your inability to find a solution to the wordsearch;;
冈;Ridge of a hill         ;Along the ridge of this hill runs a huge glass covering that the farmers have stored their sheafs of wheat; so their can ripen in the sun while still being safe from rotting caused by rain.;
义;Righteousness         ;Rural righteousness; steeped in a boquet of sweat;
环;Ring         ;Boromir (who would be king) tried to steal the ring, but Frodo stopped him with a big fat "NO" symbol;;
室;Room         ;This room is the cell in which the hero of the Shawshank Redemption is patiently waiting until he can make his escape.;;
根;Root         ;Exposed-root silver birch trees are a common sight in Finland;;
转;Rotate         ;This hick farmer has modified his car (a pickup truck) so that the exhaust pipe looks like a corncob pipe. Whenever the wheels rotate; smoke comes out of the pipe in a highly convincing fashion. Alternatively; the speciality of a car is to rotate its wheels as fast as possible and hence get you to your destination!
腐;Rotten         ;What happens to all the pork (meat) that the government office doesn't get around to handing out? It goes rotten; of course!;
圆;Round         ;This employee has been pent in the stores cupboard for failing to get his round in at the company pub trip;;
途;Route         ;This route has a weak bridge; so all trucks going down the road have to be checked on the scale before they can continue.;
排;Row         ;On death row; the fingers of condemned prisoners wave helplessly through the close-knit bars; pleading to be saved - a truly pitiful sight.
廷;Royal court         ;This porter is stretched to his limits serving the royal court - he is always dashing around attending to the whims of some selfish; inbred person or other; sweat pouring from his brow.
摩;Rub         ;You rub up a fat spliff; hemp in one hand and rolling paper in another;
跑;Run         ;The pirate wraps his wooden leg in an electric rollerskate in order to outrun even the fastest unaugmented runner.;;
保;Safeguard         ;You must be dim-witted indeed if you think you can safeguard yourself from the unchecked wrath of Chuck Norris!;;
商;Salesman         ;The cockroach salesman stands on top of his motorcycle helmet; animal legs waving above his head as he opens he mouth as wide as possible to make his case to the crowd passing by;
曰;Sayeth         ;A tongue wagging in a particularly large mouth.;;
稀;Scarce         ;Nutrients in the soil are scarce in this area. You basically have to plant your wild rice and hope for the best!;;
撒;Scatter         ;The task master scatters her salad and meat to the four winds; disgusted at the low quality. The servants have to bend and scrape to clean it all up; using their fingers to pick up each piece individually.
散;Scattered         ;After his army was defeated and scattered to the four winds; supplies stop coming and so the former taskmaster of the army is forced to eat human flesh salad made from the skin of his former comrades;
校;School         ;At ninja school you learn to mingle with the trees and hence become invisible. The end of term results are posted on the same trees; with prospective ninja students mingling with each other while they wait for the posting.;
经;Scripture         ;The scriptures are very specific about garments: you can't mix two different kinds of threads on the same spool.;;
擦;Scrub         ;After the servants have finished scrubbing down the house you run your finger over every surface and scrutinize their handiwork; trying to find fault with it - you are a harsh mistress indeed;
察;Scrutinize         ;The tax inspector scrutinises your documents very carefully - in your mind you offer a sacrifice to the dark gods if he just doesn't find out about your second house in Barbados;;
季;Seasons         ;The wild rice plant dies at the end of every harvest season; but its children live on as seeds and will spring to life in the next season;
座;Seat         ;Caves often contain a number of handy hollows work in the rock by water that are perfect seats for sitting in after a hard day at the assembly line;;
寻;Seek         ;Jokers seeking entertainment have smothered this broom handle in glue - when you go to pick it up; you find that you can't put it down again; so you need to seek medical assistance!
卖;Sell         ;Why is the Frenchman trying to peddle that bust? Because he really needs his next hit of drugs (injected via needles); and the only way to get someone to sell them to him is if he has some cash;
发;Send out         ;Your perky chihuahua friend being sent out to courier the morning paper to your bed. The first stroke can either be the wagging tail of the dog or the paper carried in its mouth.;;
蛇;Serpent         ;This serpent is slithering along the ground chasing an insect that is determined not to become it's dinner in this deadly game of tag;;
断;Sever         ;You're going fishing; and have baited your fishhook with some delicious rice - but the fish that latches on is a right monster! You are forced to sever the fishing line with your tomahawk before he can drag you into the ocean.;
性;Sex         ;The whole point of life is to put living creatures in a state of mind where they are addicted to sex. How else could live carry on?;;
影;Shadow         ;The shadow of the kingpin rooster's tail is cast all over the scenery of the capital building; blocking out the sun.;
荫;Shady         ;Few flowers will grow on this shady slope;;
架;Shelf         ;This duplicitous supermarket is selling a saw as an "instant shelf: just add trees!";;
射;Shoot         ;You shoot somebody with a glue gun;;
岸;Shore         ;If it's a mountain; a cliff or completely dry then it can't be the shore. Alternatively; the shore is where the race ends. It's a race that starts from the top of a mountain
短;Short         ;Like ping-pong; this is a game where you throw darts over a table at your opponent. Since serves are rarely returned; games tend to be short
该;Should         ;How does the acorn know that it should grow up into an oak tree? Well; inside the acorn are written millions of tiny words that describe exactly what should happen when an acorn germinates.;
关;Shut         ;Shutting Moses out with their own god (a golden; horned calf of the heavens) as per the book.;
辰;Sign of the Dragon         ;Bruce Lee is such a badass he climbed a sheer vertical cliff using only  hairpins.;;
亥;Sign of the Hog         ;Acorn eating hog;;
寅;Sign of the Tiger         ;If you draw the sign of the tiger on the ceiling of your house; you will sprout tiger's legs (animal legs) and be able to run and pounce like the big cats yourself.;
丝;Silk         ;Silk thread needs to be doubled before you can use it in sewing; due to its fragility;
银;Silver         ;Silver is a... silver metal! Wow!;;
简;Simple         ;Stargate technology is so simple that you can build a stargate out of any materials - even out of bamboo; should the need arise;
既;Since         ;Since the new waitress was found to be stealing the silverware we'll have to get a replacement;;
坐;Sit         ;The workers on the assembly line don't have proper chairs to sit on - so they just plonk themselves down on the soil;;
场;Site         ;At the building site for a bacon factory; piglets run happily through the mounds of soil that will become their new home;
骨;Skeleton         ;This is the grisly skeleton of a recently slain prince - still wearing its crown and  with its joints still held together by some rotting flesh;;
技;Skill         ;Grasping a branch with their fingers was the first skill premodern humans learnt;;
裙;Skirt         ;This is one of those enormous whale-bone skirts - just the sort of thing worn by a female monarch to impress their subjects.;;
奴;Slave         ;Women have to plan their lives around their periods: they are slaves to their crotches!;;
睡;Sleep         ;When you want to sleep; your eyes start to droop and close up of their own accord.;
滑;Slippery         ;"Caution: slippery when wet" is the sign you have to put on the floor after you try and give some water to a skeleton and it falls right through it;;
慢;Slow         ;Your perception of time starts to slow down as you enter an altered state of mind during your meditation session on the mandala pattern;;
翔;Soar         ;This Da Vinci of the sheep world has strapped feathers to the wool on it's right side and thrown itself off a cliff; hoping to soar across the world. Unfortunately; sheep just aren't that aerodynamic...
社;Society         ;In China; they might worship at an altar of the soil; honouring the spirit of the land. This agarian instinct is a defining piece of their society.
固;Solid         ;This bread has been pent in the bread bin for so long that it has turned rock solid. You try and eat it but chip your teeth in the process!;;
身;Somebody         ;Somebody was just looking for you. He had a long nose that reaches down below his mouth; a long jaw sticking out past his mouth; and a scar across his face
者;Someone         ;Having that special someone in your life is like getting a wonderful present from Santa Claus every single day! Todays present is a puppet on a string!;;
汤;Soup         ;You're surprised by a tiny trotter floating up in your bowl of soup. Too late; you realise it was made from the bodies of tiny piglets soaked in water!;
南;South         ;Things are really going south today! Why didn't I wear my belt of good fortune??;;
暇;Spare time         ;Some jackass-like people have way too much spare time. You can find videos of them all over the internet; if you like such things; you can watch it all day. You see them stapling their mouths shut
专;Specialty         ;A farmers specialty is chopping down cornstalks. This particularly jolly farmer is smoking a corncob pipe as he does it; to keep himself occupied.;
种;Species         ;Remember the particle accelerator from "collide"? In this character, the accelerator is being used to smash wild rice seeds in their nuclei (middles) to produce new mutant species of rice with desirable properties!;;
斯;Sphinx         ;If you visit the Sphinx; you'll find locals with hampers full of minature reproductions of the famous monument which have been painstakingly cut from rock by the tomahawks of native americans who don't have a monument of their own to imitate.;
辣;Spicy Hot         ;A bundle of Mama Capsicum's Spicy Hot chilli peppers. Smell the pain!;;
灵;Spirit         ;The Holy Spirit made itself known to Jesus is the form of a burning bush - in this incarnation; it takes the form of a burning broom;
华;Splendor         ;By using a needle on otherwise ordinary cloth; their natural splendor can be brought out to make clothes truly fit for a king!;
烂;Spoiled         ;Nothing spoiled the orchid garden more than when it was set alight by a rampaging; flaming tail-less sheep;
春;Springtime         ;When it's springtime you can only leave the bonsai outside when the sun has dipped a little lower in the sky - their delicate leaves just can't handle too much heat.;;
阶;Stairs         ;These stairs will lead you to the pinnacle - but you're going to have to use some ambulatory apparatus (an umbrella or a pair of crutches) to get up them in one piece;;
星;Star         ;The Sun is the only star we know of that has given life.;;
惊;Startled         ;You are startled by a request from the capital building to come and be the new president - are the legislators really in a well state of mind?;;
仍;Still         ;Chuck Norris' fist is still the deadliest in the world;;
搅;Stir         ;You stir the cake batter wildly; your fingers gripping the spoon tightly until you come to your senses.;
仓;Storehouse         ;Ancient storehouses recorded who owned the things in them with clay statuettes. Those whose statuettes matched the clay mould that formed them could claim the goods. In this case; the goods being stored are umbrellas; and we are checking if the fingerprint of those umbrellas matches that of the mould...
层;Story         ;Skyscrapers have so many stories that the flags on their tops rise above the clouds!;;
策;Strategy         ;A key part of his military strategy revolves around the use of bamboo blowpipes with poisoned thorns inside to disable most of the enemy army from a distance;;
街;Street         ;A street is a boulevard paved with bricks - easy!;;
严;Strict         ;Mao Zedong is very strict with his comrades: if they displease him they are are likely to be tossed from a cliff.;;
强;Strong         ;Although the warriors of your tribe are massively strong; they aren't able to use the siege bow without mechanical help. Alternatively; one of your warriors is able to wield a siege bow after eating a rather strong-tasting concotion of insects which increases his strength massively.
代;Substitute for         ;Chuck Norris' teeth are so hardened that he can substitute an arrow for a toothpick;;
某;Such and such         ;A so-and-so is a sort generic person is described here as having body sort of like a tree trunk and head sort of like a wicker basket.;;
忽;Suddenly         ;One of the robots in sickbay is in the habit of tying peoples' hearts in knots - and this causes them to die suddenly. Most distressing!;;
充;Sufficient         ;One pair of human legs should be sufficient for any infant. If you baby has any more; you have cause to worry...;
糖;Sugar         ;The Tang dynasty were the first to make widespread use of sugar (true story) - so of course they tried eating it with rice!;;
督;Superintend         ;The creepy uncle has a job as a school superintendent so that he can eye the students all day;;
监;Supervise         ;This character depicts a tubby guard supervising a large facility from afar using his hidden CCTV cameras. He is reclining in his chair like a great drop of fat; dish of junk food in one hand. If he spots intruders he's meant to use his fencing foil to take them out; but let's face it - he's not going to be able to do much good.
持;Support         ;Everyone who supported the Buddhist temples in Myanmar had their fingers chopped off;;
姓;Surname         ;When women marry they start a new life; and hence adopt a totally new surname.;
围;Surround         ;After falling into the briar patch (wearing your tanned hide jacket) you were totally surrounded with briars; pent in and unable to escape.;
悬;Suspend         ;If you thought getting planning permission for a wall was a lot of trouble; just wait until you try getting permission for putting a suspension bridge in your back garden. The planning examiner at the council will have a heart attack!;
甘;Sweet         ;A small wicker basket containing twenty sweet pocky sticks (which are lying horizontally inside the basket);;
尾;Tail         ;The furry tail of the dog is waved around like a flag, as if to say "I'm here and I'm happy!";;
取;Take         ;A classic trick of those annoying amateur magicians: pulling a crotch out of your ear with his right hand (very painful!);;
考;Take an exam         ;Santa Claus isn't really a  year old man. Instead; potential applicants take the exam; hoping to be slung(shot) into fame and glory in the role of the well-loved saint
司;Take charge of         ;The new leader of the platoon takes charge of his men. His one big mouth booms out "alright men, get your fatigues off their clothes hangers - we're going for a  mile run to break you in!";;
抽;Take out         ;You clasp your fingers around the sprouting seedling and take it out of the ground gingerly;;
唐;Tang         ;Two archeologists are in a cave looking at Chinese artifacts from various eras. One picks up a rake and says, "What about this – T'ang, do you think?" The second puts the rake in his mouth and answers, "Yes, it does tang a bit";;
韦;Tanned hide         ;Bushes with hooks (a briar patch) tearing up your prize tanned hide coat!;;
务;Tasks         ;You get your tasks done as quickly as possible by power walking between the supermarket; laundry and so on;
教;Teach         ;The job of a school taskmaster is to teach filial piety to the children; so they are eligible for presents from Santa Claus.;
队;Team         ;A team of people; when properly trained; can represent the pinnacle of efficiency of a person
温;Temperature         ;A nice demonstration of the effects of radiant energy on temperature is to fill a dish full of water and leave it outside. The sun will cause its temperature to rise and hence all the water will evaporate from the dish; towards the sun!;
暂;Temporary         ;If you are a temporary employee; that means that your days at the company will be hewed to a close in only a few days;
壤;Territory         ;The only bits of ground that aren't someones territory are no-mans land. The ground all around this pigeon coop is exactly like that - noone wants it because the pigeon poo is so thick that the territory is basically a liability.;;
那;That         ;As per the book. Tour of the San Franciso bay. Q: "what is THAT?" A: "That is the famous Alcatraz" - surrounded by razor wire and on the pinnacle of a rock in the bay, outside the city walls.;;
对;That’s right         ;The panting moan of a lover who can only get off when you combine a Pritt stick with her crotch...;;
股;Thigh         ;You've been under siege for so long that you've run out of arrows to use as missiles. However; there are plenty of dismembered body parts littering the streets; and you've found that the thigh bones make for perfect missiles!
物;Thing         ;The cow's "thing" is tied in a knot. Ouch!;;
想;Think         ;When you are deeply in love; all you can think about is how much you heart one another;
丙;Third         ;In this third-class flight; the seatbelts are so bad that whenever there is a little turbulence all the people hit the ceiling; sending their internals reeling
渴;Thirsty         ;However; if you are really thirsty after your siesta the best thing to drink is not beer - you should try water instead;
这;This         ;This bus is going nowhere fast along the road, because a Highlander is demanding a fee for the use of "his" road.;;
票;Ticket         ;In the Old West; churchmen had to sell tickets to their altars in order to pay for upkeep. Alternatively; you need to buy a ticket at the altar of the cinema in order to see the Old West on the big screen.
虎;Tiger         ;The magicians making a tiger for this private zoo; using chopped up pieces and a magical wind; as per the book.
紧;Tight         ;You really want to be inside that tight woman; but you are foiled again - she rejects you because you don't floss!;
勒;Tighten         ;You tighten the handcuffs on the musclebound gimp in the all-leather bodysuit.;;
树;Timber         ;You're at a school for lumberjacks. Prancing around in womens clothing, the instructors congratulate you ("that's right!") as you demonstrate your tree-felling skills and shout out "timber!";;
昔;Times past         ;Your past times were your salad days;;
微;Tiny         ;The tiny sherpa (taskmaster) is leading this queue of brave ant mountaineers up the wall of the house and towards the ceiling where they can live in peace and security in the attic. Unfortunately; they didn't account for the strong winds that blow through the attic at that altitude; so they are all swept off the mountain (a wall) and back to the ground!
共;Together         ;These two things go together perfectly at a BBQ: salad and chicken legs;;
牙;Tooth         ;A spear-like object protruding from a box of old bones - the tooth (or tusk) of a walrus!;;
孩;Tot         ;This child is so small (only  letters long) that he's only the size of an acorn!;;
往;Toward         ;Sick of queuing for your glue; you resolve to move towards the front of the queue by trading with those around you in the line - you have a load of candlesticks but no matches; so you trade those for the chance to move forward in the queue
泰;Tranquil         ;The most tranquil Japanese scene you can imagine: a bonsai tree in front of a window behind which snowflakes are elegantly falling onto a gravel garden.;;
化;Transform         ;Chuck Norris can make a weapon out of anything - in particular; in his hands a spoon transforms to a deadly implement;
困;Trapped         ;You are being help captive by an evil dryad; and she has summoned the trees to pent you in;
盘;Tray         ;The tray of the CD player on your boat - a little dish into which you can insert a CD of your favourite nautical tunes (such as "In The Navy").;;
甚;Tremendously         ;This is a tremendously large laundry basket which has been left alone too long and hence developed its own ecosystem of discarded clothing. If you dip a fishhook down into the basket you might just snare some interesting cloth creature...;;
族;Tribe         ;With a banner declaring "keep out!" and blow-darts to back it up, this Amazon tribe are not that friendly;;
兵;Troops         ;Listen up troops! You are no longer men with human legs; but animals with animal legs! Now; go! Use those powerful legs to take that hill!
团;Troupe         ;This troupe of performing players have dressed up in baggy silk underpants to reenact the story of Aladdin and his genie; which is normally kept pent up in the magic lamp;
裤;Trousers         ;China is famous for it's textile manufacturers - this is just one of their many warehouses; holding racks and racks of snazzy cloak/trouser combinations;
番;Try         ;This game of rugby is taking place in a rice field (in knee-high water!) but the players are kind of reluctant to score a try because there are tons of fish droppings in the water (being used as fertilizer) and they don't want to get covered in them during the dive.;;
翻;Turn over         ;You turn over in your sleep - and touch a feathery thing - a chicken! It turns out you went to bed in a field full of chickens; and now you're covered in chicken feathers and (to put it politely) fertilizer.;
廿;Twenty         ;Two tens;;
叔;Uncle         ;This uncle is a creepy guy that towers above the little one's crotch;;
懂;Understand         ;I'll never understand women's state of mind! If I manage to upset her then I'll have to buy her flowers and a heavy box of chocolates; or I might heavily regret my lack of action later on...;
承;Undertake         ;The founder of the "undertaking of great advantage, but noone to know what it is" vanish-ed across the water to Eurpoe, but not before gathering plentiful funds from his hapless American investors.;;
展;Unfold         ;You unfold your picnic lunch wrapped in the American flag and tied off with a hairclip (barrette). Inside is a delicious salad which you finish with gusto and then wipe your mouth on the American flag.;;
联;Unite         ;The Golden Calf threatened the unity of the people of the Exodus; as it whispered lies about moses into the ears of its followers. By destroying it; Moses united his people once more.
普;Universal         ;The Universal Studios logo shows the text "Universal" side by side with the Earth and the sun.;;
幻;Unreal         ;Unreal's aliens spawned from cocoons that hung off protusions on the rocks looking like coat hangers. It's unreal how nasty those things were!;;
解;Untie         ;This shows the act of untying a cow - stick your dagger in at the right angle and twist! To get this right; you probably want to use a carpenters square to measure the angle.;
至;Until         ;Until the day comes when I can break out of this cell; I'm going to keep chipping away at the soil under the wall. Think of the Shawshank Redemption.;
端;Upright         ;The prospector is an upright citizen and would never dream of theft; but many people he meets are not so scrupulous - so he is forced to conceal his finds within a vase that he hides in his cart.;
倒;Upside down         ;As soon as Chuck Norris arrives to the fight; you'll be flat on your back or upside down next to a wall; and quite
使;Use         ;Chuck Norris can use his mighty mouth to spit over  Chinese inches - so he is sure to win the spitting Olympics;;
用;Utilize         ;BioTools Inc introduces the FG screwdriver; utilizing the our latest FleshGrip(tm) technology! The walking stick is a prong out of the side of the shaft that lets you hold it steady;
假;Vacation         ;A vacation is an "American" holiday - and there is nothing that American people like to do better on vacation than go skiing, where there is a serious danger that you'll end up with your leg in a brace.;;
汽;Vapor         ;Water vapor hangs in the air.;;
菜;Vegetable         ;Picking flowers is an arduous manual job so simple even a vegetable could do it;;
素;Vegetarian diet         ;If you stick to a vegetarian diet and only eat long floss-like strings of beans; then you won't grow up at all; but stay small and weak all of your life!
售;Vend         ;In Japan; you are able to obtain a turkey from a vending machine to stuff into your mouth at any hour of the day.;
摊;Vendor’s stand         ;This vendor's stand is luring customers in to gamble on the cup-and-pea game. You place your bet and the vendor's nimble fingers move the cups every which way. It's very difficult to follow and pick the correct cup when he is done.;;
尊;Venerate         ;You venerate your chieftain so much that you stick to him like glue - even sleeping outside his tent and following him to the toilet after he's drunk too much moose whisky...;;
纵;Vertical         ;In a vertically integrated industry; there is a clear thread through one company from the raw materials; to the assembly line
胜;Victory         ;The growing cell declares victory when it finally multiplies itself enough to form part of the body.;;
善;Virtuous         ;Imagine a priest's teaching: "To achieve virtue one must first submit himself as a sheep to God's flock, rejecting the horns of Satan and resisting the mouth of Hell.";;
声;Voice         ;This soldier (who straddles both sides of the divided flag) is the sole voice of reason calling for the war to end and the flag to be reunited. (This is why he doesn't have a missile - he's advocating peace).;;
腰;Waist         ;The waist is near the part of the body those scoundrels in the Old West really want to get at...;;
要;Want         ;In the Old West; when someone wants a woman he just takes her then and there. How barbaric!;
防;Ward off         ;To ward off enemies; the ancient Greeks kept a lookout from the Acropolis; from which they could see for miles in all directions
库;Warehouse         ;Batman uses the Batcave as a warehouse for his huge car - the Batmobile;;
波;Waves         ;What covers the water? Waves; of course;
弱;Weak         ;Two weak archers agree to a duel to the death. They constantly shoot at each other but never manage to hit each other. They keep this up for months; until it is wintertime and their bows are covered in ice;
乏;Weary         ;Zorro has become world-wearing; having seen one too many drops of cruelty in his adventures;
称;Weigh         ;Every time you try and move towards the scales with your little bag of wild rice to weigh you are overcome with a fit of hiccups that has you spilling the rice everywhere;;
什;What?         ;"What?" is the reaction you have if you let a bound and gagged Chuck Norris get hold of a needle - he'll have the locks picked in a jiffy and you'll be dead on the ground;;
何;Whatwhichwhowherewhy?         ;A person can deploy this interrogative particle in any situation!;;
麦;Wheat         ;If you eat lots of wheat; you'll grow up to have strong walking legs; perfect for strolling through the wheat fields and even working on the wheat farm...
哪;Which?         ;As per the book: the warden at Alcatraz makes every inmate pronunce "Which witch wishes" with their mouth or face solitary confinement.;;
野;Wild         ;The wild tribe leader doesn't know what to do with the computer - after unsuccessfully trying to eat it he drives his ceromonial spear into the devilrous thing; giving himself a severe electrical shock.;
雁;Wild goose         ;The bird-brained birdman chases a wild goose right off a cliff.;;
柳;Willow         ;The wood of the willow tree is particularly prized as a material for letter openers because of their lightness and strength;;
风;Wind         ;The wind is so strong that all the sheafs of wheat in the fields are being blown away and are rolling towards you!;;
窗;Window         ;Windows is a giant money hole and a hole of bloated suckfulness; but you need to use it to run your GPS software.;
智;Wisdom         ;True wisdom is knowing everything over the sun;;
巫;Witch         ;When assembly lines were first introduced; they worked so fast that people swore that they must be the work of witches;
却;Withdraw         ;You go to the post office to buy some stamps; but you learn that all the stamps have gone! You have to withdraw in defeat hastily; before you can be crushed by the hordes of pensioners going to get their money
呢;Woolen cloth         ;Nuns lead very boring lives; and tend to become obsessed with strange subjects. This one can't stop mouthing off about the advantages of woolen cloth for use in nun's habits;
词;Word         ;The important thing is to take charge of the words of Chinese: don't let them take charge of /you/!;;
当;Work as         ;This depicts someone whose job is literally as a small broom head - they have a small afro which is amazing at picking up dust from hard to reach nooks and crannys;;
忧;Worried         ;Trapped in the castle of the Frakenpooch; you have good reason to be in a worried state of mind! What's more; you are being worried by the teeth of his canine minions.
贤;Worthy         ;Jesus is not considered worthy enough to enter the temple by the gate guards - they judge worth purely by how many shells you have so. This means that Jesus' plan to upset the shell-lenders was foiled again - at least until he can get enough shells to bride the guards.;;
呀;Wow!         ;Wow! It's amazing walruses can fit their tusks into their mouths (and their mouths look like Ws as a result - each tusk forms a V-like shape within it).;;
搏;Wrestle         ;A tense game of finger-wrestling. The winner gets a gummed label glued onto their dog-tags proclaiming their victory; and entitling the bearer to some tongue-wrestling action...;
惨;Wretched         ;This is your state of mind after a big brawl; while you're cooling off in the cells as a wretched participant in the jails of Her Majesty's Police Force.;
写;Write         ;You offer to write Royalist propaganda for the crown. It's dirty work; but it noone can beat their offer of royalties.;
阳;Yang         ;The sunny side of the slope - sun at the pinnacle;;
年;Year         ;This genteel stick horse wears a monocle to the New Year celebrations - the better to watch the opera with;;
岁;Years of age         ;In the evening; you can see the outline of a giant man ten thousand years of age that lay down long ago and froze into position to form the mountain range on the horizon;
黄;Yellow         ;My face turned yellow when I watched my salad sprout animal legs and started scurrying across the table. What's more; the sprouts within it were yellow; and it had rat legs sticking out of it! Yuck!
吗;Yes or no         ;This is Mr Ed; the talking horse. Unfortunately; he can only say two words: yes and no. But what more do you need
昨;Yesterday         ;Yesterday; all my troubles seemed saw far away. Then I took a saw to my fiancee..;
阴;Yin         ;The shady side of the slope - the darkness of a new moon at the pinnacle;;
您;You (respectful)         ;When you respectfully address someone you talk to them with all your heart;;
郎;Young man         ;High quality young men help out their city by defending the city walls. Their impeccable breeding and halos won't stop an arrow though - too bad!;;
弟;Younger brother         ;Younger brothers are always devilish and expensive to keep - that's why the Chinese always stop after having one child!;;
零;Zero         ;The number of people who can order the rain around: zero!;;