CAH

WhiteCards : [
            "Being on fire.",
            "Racism.",
            "Old-people smell.",
            "A micropenis.",
            "Women in yogurt commercials.",
            "Classist undertones.",
            "Not giving a shit about the Third World.",
            "Sexting.",
            "Roofies.",
            "A windmill full of corpses.",
            "The gays.",
            "Oversized lollipops.",
            "African children.",
            "An asymmetric boob job.",
            "Binging and purgin.",
            "The hardworking Mexican.",
            "An Oedipus complex.",
            "A tiny horse.",
            "Boogers.",
            "Penis envy.",
            "Barack Obama.",
            "My humps.",
            "The Tempur-Pedic® Swedish Sleep System™.",
            "Scientology.",
            "Dry heaving.",
            "Skeletor.",
            "Darth Vader.",
            "Figgy pudding.",
            "Chutzpah.",
            "Five-Dollar Footlongs™.",
            "Elderly Japanese men.",
            "Free samples.",
            "Estrogen.",
            "Sexual tension.",
            "Famine.",
            "A stray pube.",
            "Men.",
            "Heartwarming orphans.",
            "Genital piercings.",
            "A bag of magic beans.",
            "Repression.",
            "Prancing.",
            "My relationship status.",
            "Overcompensation.",
            "Peeing a little bit.",
            "Pooping back and forth. Forever.",
            "Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale.",
            "Testicular torsion.",
            "The Devil himself.",
            "The World of Warcraft.",
            "Dick Cheney.",
            "MechaHitler.",
            "Being fabulous.",
            "Pictures of boobs.",
            "A caress of the inner thigh.",
            "The Amish.",
            "Pabst Blue Ribbon.",
            "Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.",
            "Pedophiles.",
            "The Pope.",
            "Flying sex snakes.",
            "Sarah Palin.",
            "Feeding Rosie O'Donnell.",
            "Sexy pillow fights.",
            "Another goddamn vampire movie.",
            "Cybernetic enhancements.",
            "Civilian casualties.",
            "Scrubbing under the folds.",
            "The female orgasm.",
            "Bitches.",
            "The Boy Scouts of America.",
            "Auschwitz.",
            "Finger painting.",
            "The Care Bear Stare.",
            "The Jews.",
            "Being marginalized.",
            "The Blood of Christ.",
            "Dead parents.",
            "Seduction.",
            "Dying of dysentery.",
            "Mr. Clean, right behind you.",
            "The Virginia Tech Massacre.",
            "Jewish fraternities.",
            "Hot Pockets®.",
            "Natalie Portman.",
            "Agriculture.",
            "Judge Judy.",
            "Surprise sex!",
            "The homosexual lifestyle.",
            "Robert Downey, Jr.",
            "The Trail of Tears.",
            "An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.",
            "A big hoopla about nothing.",
            "Electricity.",
            "Amputees.",
            "Throwing a virgin into a volcano.",
            "Italians.",
            "Explosions.",
            "A good sniff.",
            "Destroying the evidence.",
            "Children on leashes.",
            "Catapults.",
            "One trillion dollars.",
            "Friends with benefits.",
            "Dying.",
            "Silence.",
            "An honest cop with nothing left to lose.",
            "YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.",
            "Justin Bieber.",
            "The Holy Bible.",
            "Balls.",
            "Praying the gays away.",
            "Teenage pregnancy.",
            "German dungeon porn.",
            "The invisible hand.",
            "My inner demons.",
            "Powerful thighs.",
            "Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon.",
            "Crippling debt.",
            "Kamikaze pilots.",
            "Teaching a robot to love.",
            "Police brutality.",
            "Horse meat.",
            "All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.",
            "Heteronormativity.",
            "Micheal Jackson.",
            "A really cool hat.",
            "Copping a feel.",
            "Crystal meth.",
            "Shapeshifters.",
            "Fingering.",
            "A disappointing birthday party.",
            "Dental dams.",
            "My soul.",
            "A sausage festival.",
            "The chronic.",
            "Eugenics.",
            "Synergistic management solution.",
            "RoboCop.",
            "Serfdom.",
            "Stephen Hawking talking dirty.",
            "Tangled Slinkys.",
            "Fiery poops.",
            "Public ridicule.",
            "That thing that electrocutes your abs.",
            "Picking up girls at the abortion clinic.",
            "Object permanence.",
            "GoGurt®.",
            "Lockjaw.",
            "Attitude.",
            "Passable transvestites.",
            "Wet dreams.",
            "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.",
            "Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.",
            "Panda sex.",
            "Necrophilia.",
            "Grave robbing.",
            "A bleached asshole.",
            "Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him).",
            "Multiple stab wounds.",
            "Stranger danger.",
            "A monkey smoking a cigar.",
            "Smegma.",
            "A live studio audience.",
            "Making a pouty face.",
            "The violation of our most basic human rights.",
            "Unfathomable stupidity.",
            "Sunshine and rainbows.",
            "Whipping it out.",
            "The token minority.",
            "The terrorists.",
            "The Three-Fifths compromise.",
            "A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis.",
            "Vehicular manslaughter.",
            "Jibber-jabber.",
            "Emotions.",
            "Getting so angry that you poop a boner.",
            "Same-sex ice dancing.",
            "An M16 assault rifle.",
            "Man meat.",
            "Incest.",
            "A foul mouth.",
            "Flightless birds.",
            "Doing the right thing.",
            "When you fart and a little bit comes out.",
            "Frolicking.",
            "Being a dick to children.",
            "Poopy diapers.",
            "Filling Sean Hannity with helium and watching him float away.",
            "Raptor attacks.",
            "Swooping.",
            "Concealing a boner.",
            "Full frontal nudity.",
            "Vigorous jazz hands.",
            "Nipple blades.",
            "A bitch slap.",
            "Michelle Obama's arms.",
            "Mouth herpes.",
            "A robust mongoloid.",
            "Mutually-assured destruction.",
            "The Rapture.",
            "Road head.",
            "Stalin.",
            "Lactation.",
            "Hurricane Katrina.",
            "The true meaning of Christmas.",
            "Self-loathing.",
            "A brain tumor.",
            "Dead babies.",
            "New Age music.",
            "A thermonuclear detonation.",
            "Geese.",
            "Kanye West.",
            "God.",
            "A spastic nerd.",
            "Harry Potter erotica.",
            "Kids with ass cancer.",
            "Lumberjack fantasies.",
            "The American Dream.",
            "Puberty.",
            "Sweet, sweet vengeance.",
            "Winking at old people.",
            "The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge.",
            "Oompa-Loompas.",
            "Authentic Mexican cuisine.",
            "Preteens.",
            "The Little Engine That Could.",
            "Guys who don't call.",
            "Erectile dysfunction.",
            "Parting the Red Sea.",
            "Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body.",
            "Saxophone solos.",
            "Land mines.",
            "Capturing Newt Gingrich and forcing him to dance in a monkey suit.",
            "Me time.",
            "Nickelback.",
            "Vigilante justice.",
            "The South.",
            "Opposable thumbs.",
            "Ghosts.",
            "Alcoholism.",
            "Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes.",
            "Inappropriate yodeling.",
            "Battlefield amputations.",
            "Exactly what you'd expect.",
            "A time travel paradox.",
            "AXE Body Spray.",
            "Actually taking candy from a baby.",
            "Leaving an awkward voicemail.",
            "A sassy black woman.",
            "Being a motherfucking sorcerer.",
            "A mopey zoo lion.",
            "A murder most foul.",
            "A falcon with a cap on its head.",
            "Farting and walking away.",
            "A mating display.",
            "The Chinese gymnastics team.",
            "Friction.",
            "Asians who aren't good at math.",
            "Fear itself.",
            "A can of whoop-ass.",
            "Yeast.",
            "Lunchables™.",
            "Licking things to claim them as your own.",
            "Vikings.",
            "The Kool-Aid Man.",
            "Hot cheese.",
            "Nicolas Cage.",
            "A defective condom.",
            "The inevitable heat death of the universe.",
            "Republicans.",
            "William Shatner.",
            "Tentacle porn.",
            "Sperm whales.",
            "Lady Gaga.",
            "Chunks of dead prostitute.",
            "Gloryholes.",
            "Daddy issues.",
            "A mime having a stroke.",
            "White people.",
            "A lifetime of sadness.",
            "Tasteful sideboob.",
            "A sea of troubles.",
            "Nazis.",
            "A cooler full of organs.",
            "Giving 110%.",
            "Doin' it in the butt.",
            "John Wilkes Booth.",
            "Obesity.",
            "A homoerotic volleyball montage.",
            "Puppies!",
            "Natural male enhancement.",
            "Brown people.",
            "Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.",
            "Soup that is too hot.",
            "Porn stars.",
            "Hormone injections.",
            "Pulling out.",
            "The Big Bang.",
            "Switching to Geico®.",
            "Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry.",
            "Rehab.",
            "Christopher Walken.",
            "Count Chocula.",
            "The Hamburglar.",
            "Not reciprocating oral sex.",
            "Aaron Burr.",
            "Hot people.",
            "Foreskin.",
            "Assless chaps.",
            "The miracle of childbirth.",
            "Waiting 'til marriage.",
            "Two midgets shitting into a bucket.",
            "Adderall™.",
            "A sad handjob.",
            "Cheating in the Special Olympics.",
            "The glass ceiling.",
            "The Husting.",
            "Getting drunk on mouthwash.",
            "Bling.",
            "Breaking out into song and dance.",
            "A Super Soaker™ full of cat pee.",
            "The Underground Railroad.",
            "Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine®.",
            "The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.",
            "Extremely tight pants.",
            "Third base.",
            "Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.",
            "Golden showers.",
            "White privilege.",
            "Hope.",
            "Taking off your shirt.",
            "Smallpox blankets.",
            "Ethnic cleansing.",
            "Queefing.",
            "Helplessly giggling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.",
            "Getting really high.",
            "Natural selection.",
            "A gassy antelope.",
            "My sex life.",
            "Arnold Schwarzenegger.",
            "Pretending to care.",
            "Ronald Reagan.",
            "Toni Morrison's vagina.",
            "Pterodactyl eggs.",
            "A death ray.",
            "BATMAN!!!",
            "Homeless people.",
            "Racially-biased SAT questions.",
            "Centaurs.",
            "A salty surprise.",
            "72 virgins.",
            "Embryonic stem cells.",
            "Pixelated bukkake.",
            "Seppuku.",
            "An icepick lobotomy.",
            "Stormtroopers.",
            "Menstrual rage.",
            "Passing a kidney stone.",
            "An uppercut.",
            "Shaquille O'Neal's acting career.",
            "Horrifying laser hair removal accidents.",
            "Autocannibalism.",
            "A fetus.",
            "Riding off into the sunset.",
            "Goblins.",
            "Eating the last known bison.",
            "Shiny objects.",
            "Being rich.",
            "A Bop It™.",
            "Leprosy.",
            "World peace.",
            "Dick fingers.",
            "Chainsaws for hands.",
            "The Make-A-Wish® Foundation.",
            "Britney Spears at 55.",
            "Laying an egg.",
            "The folly of man.",
            "My genitals.",
            "Grandma.",
            "Flesh-eating bacteria.",
            "Poor people.",
            "50,000 volts straight to the nipples.",
            "Active listening.",
            "The Ubermensch.",
            "Poor life choices.",
            "Altar boys.",
            "My vagina.",
            "Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.",
            "Sniffing glue.",
            "The placenta.",
            "The profoundly handicapped.",
            "Spontaneous human combustion.",
            "The KKK.",
            "The clitoris.",
            "Not wearing pants.",
            "Date rape.",
            "Black people.",
            "A bucket of fish heads.",
            "Hospice care.",
            "Passive-aggressive Post-it notes.",
            "Fancy Feast®.",
            "The heart of a child.",
            "Sharing needles.",
            "Scalping.",
            "A look-see.",
            "Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Florida, and dying.",
            "Sean Penn.",
            "Sean Connery.",
            "Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.",
            "Wifely duties.",
            "A pyramid of severed heads.",
            "Genghis Khan.",
            "Historically black colleges.",
            "Raping and pillaging.",
            "A subscription to Men's Fitness.",
            "The milk man.",
            "Friendly fire.",
            "Women's suffrage.",
            "AIDS.",
            "Former President George W. Bush.",
            "8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.",
            "Half-assed foreplay.",
            "Edible underpants.",
            "My collection of high-tech sex toys.",
            "The Force.",
            "Bees?",
            "Loose lips.",
            "Jerking off into a pool of children's tears.",
            "A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties.",
            "A hot mess.",
            "Masturbation.",
            "Tom Cruise.",
            "A balanced breakfast.",
            "Anal beads.",
            "Drinking alone.",
            "Humanity Against Cards.",
            "Coat hanger abortions.",
            "Used panties.",
            "Cuddling.",
            "Wiping her butt.",
            "Domino's™ Oreo™ Dessert Pizza.",
            "A zesty breakfast burrito.",
            "Morgan Freeman's voice.",
            "A middle-aged man on roller skates.",
            "Gandhi.",
            "The penny whistle solo from \"My Heart Will Go On.\".",
            "Spectacular abs.",
            "Keanu Reeves.",
            "Child beauty pageants.",
            "Bill Nye the Science Guy.",
            "Science.",
            "A tribe of warrior women.",
            "Viagra®.",
            "Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.",
            "The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir.",
            "Hulk Hogan.",
            "Take-backsies.",
            "An erection that, lasts longer than four hours."
        ],
        BlackCards : [
            "How did I lose my virginity?",
            "Why can't I sleep at night?",
            "What's that smell?",
            "I got 99 problems but _ ain't one.",
            "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's _.",
            "What's the next Happy Meal® toy?",
            "Here is the church\nHere is the steeple\nOpen the doors\nAnd there is _.",
            "It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with _.",
            "During his childhood, Salvador Dali produced hundreds of paintings of _.",
            "Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of _.",
            "And the Academy Award for _ goes to _.",
            "What's that sound?",
            "What ended my last relationship?",
            "MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with _.",
            "I drink to forget _.",
            "I'm sorry Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _.",
            "What is Batman's guilty pleasure?",
            "This is the way the world ends\\\nThis is the way the world ends\\\nNot with a bang but with _.",
            "What's a girl's best friend?",
            "TSA guidelines now prohibit _ on airplanes.",
            "_. That's how I want to die.",
            "For my next trick, I will pull _ out of _.",
            "In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana stuggles with _ for the first time.",
            "_ is a slippery slope that leads to _.",
            "What does Dick Cheney prefer?",
            "Dear Abby,\n\nI'm having some trouble with _ and would like your advice.",
            "Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children _.",
            "What's the most emo?",
            "In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services?",
            "What's the next superhero/sidekick duo?",
            "In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that _ had really been _ all along.",
            "A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without _.",
            "_. Betcha can't have just one!",
            "White people like _.",
            "_. High five, bro.",
            "Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of _.",
            "BILLY MAYS HERE FOR _.",
            "In a world ravaged by _, our only solace is _.",
            "War!\n\nWhat is it good for?",
            "During sex, I like to think about _.",
            "What are my parents hiding from me?",
            "What will always get you laid?",
            "In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for _.",
            "What did I bring back from Mexico?",
            "What don't you want to find in your Chinese food?",
            "What will I bring back in time to convince people that I am a powerful wizard?",
            "How am I maintaining my relationship status?",
            "_. It's a trap!",
            "Coming to Broadway this season, _: The Musical.",
            "While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on _.",
            "After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought _ to the people of Haiti.",
            "Next on ESPN2, the World Series of _.",
            "Step 1: _.\nStep 2: _.\nStep 3: Profit.",
            "Rumor has it that Vladimir Putin's favorite delicacy is _ stuffed with _.",
            "But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you _.",
            "What gives me uncontrollable gas?",
            "What do old people smell like?",
            "The class field trip was completely ruined by _.",
            "When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a Plague of _.",
            "What's my secret power?",
            "What's there a ton of in heaven?",
            "What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?",
            "I never truly understood _ until I encountered _.",
            "What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?",
            "What helps Obama unwind?",
            "What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner?",
            "_: good to the last drop.",
            "Why am I sticky?",
            "What gets better with age?",
            "_: kid-tested, mother-approved.",
            "Daddy, why is mommy crying?",
            "What's Teach for America using to inspire inner city students to succeed?",
            "Studies show that lab rats navigate mazes 50% faster after being exposed to _.",
            "Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to the _.",
            "Make a haiku.",
            "I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with _.",
            "Why do I hurt all over?",
            "What am I giving up for Lent?",
            "In Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about _.",
            "The Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has opened an interactive exhibit on _.",
            "When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of _.",
            "Lifetime® presents _, the story of _.",
            "When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate _.",
            "When I was tripping on acid, _ turned into _.",
            "That's right, I killed _. How, you ask? _.",
            "What's my anti-drug?",
            "_ + _ = _.",
            "What never fails to liven up the party?",
            "What's the new fad diet?",
            "Major League Baseball has banned _ for giving players an unfair advantage."
        ]