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Multiple Categories added #122

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Multiple Categories added #122

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12 changes: 4 additions & 8 deletions data/jokes.json
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Original file line number Diff line number Diff line change
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},
{
"body": "A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed their boss left work early.\n\nOne day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called in or came back to the office when she left early, so how was she to know?\n\nThe next day, they all three left the office right after the boss left. The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.\n\nThe redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the health club before meeting her dinner date.\n\nThe blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to the bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS.\n\nEver so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead decided they were leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was coming with them.\n\n\"NO WAY,\" she exclaimed, \"I almost got caught yesterday\"",
"category": "Office Jokes"
"category": "Office Jokes, Blonde Jokes"
},
{
"body": "This fat guy sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They strip him and lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute. He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a gorgeous blonde, stark naked, with a sign saying \"If you catch me, I'm yours.\" He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg. He's back on the street and starts to think. \"Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time...\" So he races back to the gym and says, \"I want to lose 20 more kg.\" \"No problem,\" says the manager. Again he strips, and is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door when it opens. Out comes a gorilla with a sign \"If I catch you, you're mine.\"",
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -1310,7 +1310,7 @@
},
{
"body": "On the sixth day God turned to the Archangel Gabriel and said, \"Today I\nam going to create a land called Canada. It will be a land of\noutstanding natural beauty, with majestic mountains, beautiful pristine\nlakes bountiful with carp and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high\ncliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and\nscenic rivers stocked with salmon.\"\n\nGod continued, \"I shall make the land rich in oil so the inhabitants\nprosper, and they shall be called Canadians, and they shall be known as\nthe friendliest people on the earth.\"\n\n\"But Lord\", said Gabriel, \"surely you are being too generous to these\nCanadians?\"\n\n\"Not really\", replied God. \"Just wait and see the neighbors I'm going to give them.\"",
"category": "Miscellaneous"
"category": "God"
},
{
"body": "Sam had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a huge, bearded man standing there.\"Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road...Having a Christmas party Friday night... Thought you might like to come. About 5:00...\"\"Great,\" says Sam, \"after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.\"As Lars is leaving, he stops. \"Gotta warn you... There's gonna be some drinkin'.\"Not a problem,\" says Sam. \"After 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em.\"Again, as he starts to leave, Lars stops. \"More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too.\"Sam says, \"Well, I get along with people, I'll be alright. I'll be there. Thanks again.\"Once again Lars turns from the door. \"More'n likely be some wild sex, too.\"\"Now that's really not a problem,\" says Sam, warming to the idea. \"I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?\"Lars stops in the door again and says, \"Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us.\"",
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -3304,10 +3304,6 @@
"body": "\"May I take your order?\" the waiter asked.\n\n\"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?\"\n\n\"Nothing special sir,\" he replied. \"We just tell them straight out\nthat they're going to die.\"",
"category": "Food Jokes"
},
{
"body": "On the sixth day God turned to the Archangel Gabriel and said, \"Today I\nam going to create a land called Canada. It will be a land of\noutstanding natural beauty, with majestic mountains, beautiful pristine\nlakes bountiful with carp and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high\ncliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and\nscenic rivers stocked with salmon.\"\n\nGod continued, \"I shall make the land rich in oil so the inhabitants\nprosper, and they shall be called Canadians, and they shall be known as\nthe friendliest people on the earth.\"\n\n\"But Lord\", said Gabriel, \"surely you are being too generous to these\nCanadians?\"\n\n\"Not really\", replied God. \"Just wait and see the neighbors I'm going to give them.\"",
"category": "Miscellaneous"
},
{
"body": "Sam had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a huge, bearded man standing there.\"Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road...Having a Christmas party Friday night... Thought you might like to come. About 5:00...\"\"Great,\" says Sam, \"after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.\"As Lars is leaving, he stops. \"Gotta warn you... There's gonna be some drinkin'.\"Not a problem,\" says Sam. \"After 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em.\"Again, as he starts to leave, Lars stops. \"More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too.\"Sam says, \"Well, I get along with people, I'll be alright. I'll be there. Thanks again.\"Once again Lars turns from the door. \"More'n likely be some wild sex, too.\"\"Now that's really not a problem,\" says Sam, warming to the idea. \"I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?\"Lars stops in the door again and says, \"Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us.\"",
"category": "Men"
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -3802,7 +3798,7 @@
},
{
"body": "A little girl goes to visit Santa at the Mall. When it is her turn she sits on his lap and Santa says \"Have you been good?\" \n\nLittle Girl, \"Yes, Santa, very good.\" \n\nSanta, \"What would you like for Christmas?\"\n\nLittle Girl, \"I want Barbie and G. I. Joe.\" \n\nSanta, \"G. I. Joe? Doesn't Barbie come with Ken? \n\nLittle Girl, \"No, Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken. But she comes with G. I. Joe.\"",
"category": "Children"
"category": "Children, Christmas"
},
{
"body": "Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to\nthe other, \"I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs\"\n\n\"Odd,\" her companion replies, \"but if we shall live in America, we\nmight as well do as the Americans do.\"\n\nNodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor\nand they both walk towards the cart.\n\n\"Two dogs, please,\" says one.\n\nThe vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs\nin foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry\nover to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'\n\nThe mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and\nthen, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and\nwhispers cautiously, \"What part did you get?\"",
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -5078,7 +5074,7 @@
},
{
"body": "Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. \"In honor of this holy season,\" Saint Peter said, \"you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into Heaven.\"\n\nThe first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. \"It represents a candle\", he said.\n\n\"You may pass through the pearly gates\". Saint Peter said.\n\nThe second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, \"They're bells.\"\n\nSaint Peter said \"You may pass through the pearly gates\".\n\nThe third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.\n\nSt. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, \"And just what do those symbolize?\"\n\nThe man replied, \"They're Carols.\"",
"category": "Men"
"category": "Men, Christmas"
},
{
"body": "After a long night buying a foxy women drinks, Joe took advantage by giving her a ride home. After the walk to the door, the women asked Joe in for a nightcap... One thing led to another ....After making love Joe rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, Joe asked the girl if she had one at hand. \"There might be some matches in the top drawer.\", she said. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, Joe began to worry. \"Is this your husband?\" he inquired nervously. \"No, silly,\" she replied, snuggling up to him. \"Your boyfriend then?\" he asked. \"No, not at all,\" she said, nibbling away at his ear. \"Well, who is he then?\" demanded Joe bewildered. Calmly, the girl replied, \"That's me before the operation.\"",
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